Talk Dirty to Me

[Cerebral_Assassin]

The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments.

"I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."

"My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."

"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my penis hurt."

"My last period looked like meat."

"My testicles feel soft and mushy."

"I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."

"How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"

"I got the dripper."

"I have food chunks in my urine."

"Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."

"Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."

"I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."

"I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."

"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."

"Can't you put the swab in further?"

"I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease."

"Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked."

"My cervix hurts when I jiggle."

"The seam in my circumcision split open."

"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."

"My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."

"From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me."

"I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."

"I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"

"My pee smells like ham."

[DudeAsInCool]

Ouch!

[KiwiCoromandel]

breakfast anyone?

[desdemona]

omg, you wait til I get that cerebral assassin

[Umma]

:sick:

[Potato]

I'm moving.

edit: for clarification, I live dangerously close to St. Paul.

Edited June 13, 2004 by Potato

[method77]

[Ken]

I'd like to take this time to.......... :sick:

Then, i'd like to take 5 minutes to :sick: , then i'll finish it off with a good ole' fashioned :sick:

Thank you, good night!and Ted Voice>

[Shawn]

"I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."

:good job: And well you shouldn't. They're probably cheating on you. :good job:

[slum_goddess]

breakfast anyone?

i was gonna say the same thing; i'm having mine right now. *puke* coffee all over from laughing so much. B)

[Redneck4sure]

Seems like a great place to get a date. Everyone there is a player!

[slum_goddess]

[DudeAsInCool]

Seems like a great place to get a date. Everyone there is a player!

:rotfl:

[joeyz]

"I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my penis hurt."

Ahhhh... the memories....

CA... I don't know how I missed that one :D