Happy Valentine's Day

[Redneck4sure]

That is a heck of a site Dude. :good job:

[DudeAsInCool]

Here's a sweet Happy Valentine's Day video

http://www.whoorderedroomservice.com/win.html

[Wolfie]

Not the best way to find out every rose has a thorn.

[DudeAsInCool]

A Valentine's Day Game :)

http://www.linkshard.com/Link.asp?ID=392&u...krzrztgoqoyoyip

[Redneck4sure]

You are the best surfer I ever saw.

[Tiremonkey2000]

Valentines, Redneck Style

Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue

And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.

'Cuz you married me back in '74.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know,

What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,

To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,

Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,

You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.

Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,

Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,

We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day,

From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these will not do.

For you are too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,

Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

*************************************

Roses are red,

or are they blue?

Hell I don't know

but I do like you.

I love you more

than my truck's tires.

Yer more useful than my

old rusty pliers.

You cook a good deer

and fry a good egg,

just wish you'd shave that

hair off your legs.

If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,

It's okay, I'll still feel the same,

I'll just keep on tellin my buddies,

yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.

Yer my pride and joys,

What a lady!

But hows come we do it

only when it's my payday?

When I ran over ya with my truck,

you didn't even say "ouch."

And you are so cute,

when you wipe your boogers under the couch.

I hope we stay together,

at least a couple more days-

cuz I'm really horny

and I want to get laid.

[Redneck4sure]

I intend to send those to the bride tomorrow. I may just print them out and give them to her when she gets home.

[DudeAsInCool]

I like the last 3 verses

***

How about a Redneck meal:

"The Hamdog."

The dish, a specialty of Mulligan's, a suburban bar, is a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. Oh yeah, it's also topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.

http://apnews.myway.com//article/20050213/D887OPR80.html

[DudeAsInCool]

and how about topping of that sandwich with some redneck ketchep

Woman finds penis in tomato sauce bottle

February 13 2005 at 05:50PM

Stockholm - A Swedish woman said on Sunday that she had found a penis in a bottle of ketchup.

Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children, Madeleine and Simon.

"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said.

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&cl...08309142293B235

[DudeAsInCool]

Do Valentines Hinder Love?

By Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

Feb. 11, 2005 — Senders of greeting cards and valentines may actually use the cards to distance themselves from their feelings, reflecting a culture in which relationships, due to social and economic pressures, are "necessarily temporary," according to a new book by an Ohio State University professor.

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20050207/cupid.html

[DudeAsInCool]

A Happy Valentine's Day message from Slate for the single folks:

http://www.slate.com/id/2113350/

[DudeAsInCool]

Couples lock lips at kissing festival

Feb. 13, 2005  |  MANILA, Philippines -- Thousands of couples got Valentine's Day celebrations going early, locking lips at midnight Saturday in what organizers dubbed "Lovapalooza 2."

More than 5,300 couples kissed for at least 10 seconds last Valentine's Day in Manila for an event known as "Lovapalooza," breaking Chile's record of 4,445 in the Guinness World Records book.

http://www.salon.com/news/wire/2005/02/13/kissing/index.html

[DudeAsInCool]

Salon's Editor's on the ones that got away:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/02/1...ines/index.html

[DudeAsInCool]

Redneck Wedding!

http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_

[moodyblue]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

[Redneck4sure]

and how about topping of that sandwich with some redneck ketchep

Woman finds penis in tomato sauce bottle

That must be liberal ketchup. I can tell you 4sure all rednecks keep track of their peckers. It's where all of our brains are located.

[Redneck4sure]

That redneck wedding is cool. The girls without their front teeth give the BEST you know what.

[DudeAsInCool]

Its not too late to make that special meal :)

http://www.mangiarebene.net/aphrodisiacs/index.html

[DudeAsInCool]

Valentine Balloon Blamed for Power Outage

Tue Feb 15, 5:16 PM ET

 Strange News - AP

MISHAWAKA, Ind. - A Valentine's Day (news - web sites) balloon caused an electrical outage affecting more than 2,100 homes and businesses, power company officials said.

The outage occurred Sunday night when a heart-shaped metallic Mylar balloon drifted into an electrical substation, said Phil Miller, the general manager of Mishawaka Utilities.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...alentine_outage

[slum_goddess]

a heart-shaped metallic Mylar balloon

i just realised i haven't seen those in ages. this is a very good thing. :)