Are You, Or Were Your Parents, Spankers?

[Shawn]

The Supreme Court of Canada convened last week to hear arguments on the legality of spanking a child. After deliberation, they determined that it was still a parents right to punish their child in that manner.

story

I actually expected them to outlaw the practice. Not that it would have changed much in our house. I only remember being spanked once as a child, so I doubt ti messed me up too bad. My own children receive a rap on the behind if what they did was something they know was unallowed.

What are your thoughts on spanking? Should it be outlawed?

[Kooperman]

In essence, it already is taboo. If you threaten to spank a child now they possibly could report you to authorities, and some actually carry through on that threat. As an adult who was spanked as a child, I see no ill effects that resulted in my case and there's no doubt the fear of being spanked kept me out of a lot of mischief and trouble. There are always going to be whacked out child abusers who beat a child mercilessly whether it's against the law or not. I see no point in outlawing spanking.

[DudeAsInCool]

Never any spanking in my family

[rainbowdemon]

I took a few spankings as a child. I have a daughter that I have never spanked. She's 24. So I guess I'm not going to start now!!

[Yoda]

ha spanking!! thats just funny

[MxRob]

I was spanked as a child and so was my brother. Did it affect us, absoultely not. If anything it toughened us up. Nowadays you cannot even mention it or it will get you in trouble.

My wife has a child on the way(Our first) and we have discussed it. We beleive it is ok to slap a child on the hand or butt lightly, just to let them know the simple things. ie the stove is hot, don't run in front of cars etc

[Kooperman]

Some busybodies would have the child protection services on top of you for that simple discipline. Of course their children probably smoke dope at the dinner table....

[MxRob]

Some busybodies would have the child protection services on top of you for that simple discipline. Of course their children probably smoke dope at the dinner table....

Yeah and their parents probably grow it for them too. LOL

Some people believe that the timeout chair or similar are effective ways of diciplining a child. Then they wonder why when the kids are in their teens that they have nothing but trouble with them.

[treveinta]

they say spanking your kid teaches them violence, wrong! it teaches them to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN! my parents whooped the shit out of me a child, did it effect me? Yes! i learned my lesson, don't fuck up!

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

I was spanked along with other violence. As was my brother. Due to this parental training, it eventually taught me that violence was ok. After coming back from my first-ever concert (Megadeth), I was confronted by my step-mother who had been told by my narc brother that I had went. As I was being back up into a corner in the kitchen, preparing to be "punished," something in me clicked and I swung. I ended up breaking her jaw. After being chased out of the house by my irate father, I went to a friend's house for the night. My parents lied and told the doctor she fell down the stairs. She needed metal rods placed in her jaw to correct the problem. I am not sure if they are still there. I was later confronted one day after school by my father who pulled the car over and wanted to fight me due to me having the guts to strike my step-mother. I rejected his offer.

In my first, and so-far only, previous marriage, I rough-handled my wife. She called the police but decided to not press charges. I went to counseling. I had better skills to deal with a relationship. This was not enough, however. I later was babysitting my infant son and he began to cry. I didn't know how to react to the situation and only had my previous parental training to rely on. I struck him and left a mark. My wife saw it and that was the end.

I went to more counseling and since then to this day I haven't struck anyone. Nor has anyone struck me. Life can be difficult. But eventually you get through it and make the best of what you have. Sometimes I wonder how I am able to keep going. But even wondering is forward momentum, although the reasoning can be circular.

Sorry if this was too heavy or personal for this forum. I realize this isn't a support group and I wasn't saving this burden just for you all. I really didn't expect to see a thread such as this. I have nothing to lose by being honest. You all have given me a chance by being here, so I return the favor. Peace out.

[rainbowdemon]

Sorry if this was too heavy or personal for this forum. I realize this isn't a support group and I wasn't saving this burden just for you all

Not at all. We are all friends here. If it helps to get something of your chest, then by all means, do it. So in that sense, this is a support group of sorts.

[Kooperman]

LotD, I guess the key phrase there is "along with other violence". I have to assume that this violence was not inflicted on you in a judicious and sensible manner, and wasn't used simply as a mild rebuke for bad behavior. It's true that violence breeds violence and that we are products of our environments. The important thing is for a person to come to the realization that the violence that was instilled within them is a dangerous weapon, and that it shouldn't be the first reaction when a problem is encountered. Many people never come to that realization. You're fortunate to be able to confront the demon that was inside your mind. I sincerely hope that you've conquered it forever.

[Shawn]

I'm sorry to hear of your trials LotD.

I hope you know that is not the level of punishment I was suggesting with the creation of this thread. You couldn't have deserved to be treated that way as a child, and I know full well the things that can inadvertantly come out when it is all you have ever been taught.

Don't worry about bringing us down, I'll go post some hotties later to 'pick up' everyone.

[Kooperman]

***boing***

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

lol...that'll work. :)

[Yoda]

Well, Sense we are talking about our past lifes and violence lets just talk about my wonderful past. This isnt even close to everything but I will just put the stuff i remember.

First My mom and dad got divorced which I didnt mind cause I was like 2 or 3. Then my mom made probly the biggest mistake ever and she met up with a guy named rob. The first year Rob was pretty cool but when he moved in with us things went down hill. He would go out and get drunk come back and want money from my mom to buy crack. When my mom didnt have money he would beat her and break things and all that good stuff He didnt even give a shit when I was watching he would still go at it. Then he would beat the shit out of me just cause I didnt clean my room or something stupid like that. and it wasnt just spankings either it was smacking and punching. Then when we moved to our house we got a dog and a cat which I both really loved. and he didnt like cats at all but he still got one. like the 3rd day it was in the kitchen and the cat all of a sudden was choking and not able to breathe.. rob just said he choked on a chiken bone which is a bunch of shit. The cat was almost beating every day thrown down the stairs all that before finally my mom moved him down to work with her. So now it was all the dog. The dog was still a puppy and was not fully potty trained and one night rob was yelling at my mom for something and the dog got real scared and peed and thats when all hell broke loose and he beat the shit out of it. he threw it around the house, then he went in the bathroom real quick and washed his hands and I was in bed and he screamed at me say goodbye to your dog.. then all of a sudden I heard the dog go flying down the stairs and then I didnt see it but my mom told me he was beating the dog on the head with a hammer until the dog was down and out. But he did not die. but finally he found himself another girlfriend and was planning to move out with her which he finally did. So he was cheating on my mom and it was a good thing ;). Only 2 hamsters, 2 birds died through all this.

Hope this wasnt so bad either. I kinda like to talk about it sometimes to get it off my chest. Feels good cause somedays I wanna grab a bat and go find his ass.

[rainbowdemon]

I wanna grab a bat and go find his ass.

Not worth it, Yoda. Then you just end up in jail. This asshole isn't worth that.

Just be glad it's over. The only positive thing you can do is to just be a better man yourself!

[Yoda]

ya, I also wanted people to know that watch the news and see this stuff and say why didnt they call the cops earlier or something, its not that simple. the cops cant keep him forever. Soon he would of got out of jail or whatever and be right back. So if your asking why we didnt just call the cops we didnt cause most likely he would get out of jail and come over and burn the house down or something. and trust me he didnt just run his mouth either he actually did stuff so you had to watch what you did. Luckly he cheated on my mom and moved out. But now if he stilled lived with us and did that stuff I think it would be a whole diffrent story...

[rainbowdemon]

I'm glad your life is better now. You're a good guy.

[Kooperman]

Yoda, you've seen some of the worst life has to offer to people, but there's a lot of good out there too. The fact that you and your mother survived life with that psycho is a positive to build on. You're a smart, sharp kid who can go somewhere in life if you keep taking positive steps forward. I know you've slipped a couple times at school, but just remember that a good education is a reward, not a burden you have to endure. If people treat you badly at school, distance yourself from them in order to keep yourself out of fights. You've seen that violence is a dead-end street. And don't forget to look out for your mother's welfare as much as you can...she's trying to make a better life for the two of you.

********************************************************************

And on a happier note...the Tigers will NOT lose 100 games this year!

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

But they still might get "spanked." ;)

[DudeAsInCool]

LOTD--I think thats pretty corageous of you to confront your inner demons and overcome them, let alone share it with us. Good job, dude!

[Lord_of_the_Dense]

Thanks man. Thanks for providing an environment for which I felt comfortable to do so.

[DudeAsInCool]

Well, Sense we are talking about our past lifes and violence lets just talk about my wonderful past. This isnt even close to everything but I will just put the stuff i remember.

Jesus. I dont know how you made it out ok from that kind of environment, Yoda, but Im glad you did. I do some life counseling from time to time. You can always contact me, any time Yoda, if you ever need someone to talk to ... I will be there... Also, with college coming up, if you need help on your applications, etc... I can help

[rainbowdemon]

Thanks man. Thanks for providing an environment for which I felt comfortable to do so.

I'm glad you feel that way. We want all of our members to be comfortable here.