DudeAsInCool

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I thought I'd add a little livliness to the place with this rerun :) http://www.gorkhouse.com/shakethatass.html

WooooHoooo! Happy Birthday LOTD and Method's Bro! :good job: :frog: :frog: :frog: :frog: :frog: :party: :drunk: :electroguitar: :par-taaay: :yup:

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The creation of pets/Where do pets come from? A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

How is this for corny? Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Posted on Drudge's front page

Sad story - Read the story before looking at the picture. I lived on a farm when I was a child. Times were hard back then, and the area where I lived was economically depressed. I knew that the neighbors were having a hard time making ends meet. One day I heard a knock at the door and when I went to answer, the attached is the sad sight that I saw.

>>>************************************************************ >>>"The Picture" >>> >>>After a long night of making love, a certain Carlisle Romeo notices a >>>photo of another man >>> >on his new flame's night stand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is >>> this your husband?" >>>he nervously asks. >>>"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. >>>"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. >>>"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. >>>"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. >>>"No, no, no!!!" she answers. >>>"Well, who in the hell is he, then!!!???" he demands. >>>"That's me before the surgery." >>>***************************************

>> > A husband walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer >>> > lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range >>> > from >>> > $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts >>> > for >>> > the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. >>> > He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and >>> > model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, I have an idea. It's >>> > so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the >>> > modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for >>> > myself >>> > >>> > So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. >>> > >>> > The husband says, 'Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at >>> > least iron it.' >>> > >>> > He never heard the shot. >>> > >>> > Funeral services are pending.

>A Blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I >would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assures her >that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several >patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. > > >Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then Asks >what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, "fifteen >inches." > >"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what >room are they for?" The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, >they are for her computer monitor. > > >The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need >curtains!" > > > > >The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo .. I've got Windoooooows!" >

After the Rain - Steve Fish

Sort of - its a dance around domestic and social issues...

Cheney must operate the remote control

Jacko wacko over Eminem attacko Eminem, portraying Michael Jackson as a child molester in the 'Just Lose It' video, has the Gloved One up in arms. Michael Jackson is stepping up his public whimpering over that new Eminem video that portrays the Gloved One as a child molester. "I am very angry at Eminem's depiction of me in his video ['Just Lose It']," Jackson told radio host Steve Harvey yesterday. "I feel that it is outrageous and disrespectful. It is one thing to spoof, but it is another to be demeaning and insensitive. "I've admired Eminem as an artist and was shocked by this," Jackson, 46, went on. "The video was inappropriate and disrespectful to me, my children, my family and the community at large." Slim Shady's latest satire features the rapper dressed like Jackson, sitting on a bed with young boys jumping in the background. The lyric says: "Come here, little kiddie, on my lap." Jackson applauded Black Entertainment Television for pulling the video. BET Chairman Robert Johnson said in a statement that "Just Lose It" was yanked because it was "inappropriate to use our network to air a video disparaging Michael's character, or that of any other celebrity." Jackson, a BET Walk of Fame honoree, said: "It is my hope that the other networks will take BET's lead and pull it." A rep for BET confirms that Jackson personally made an appeal to Johnson over the weekend. Eminem spokesman Dennis Dennehy would say only, "We are sorry that BET made this decision." http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/241573p-207104c.html

Elton says sorry to Madonna By Alexa Baracaia, Evening Standard 13 October 2004 Irascible rock star Sir Elton John has admitted he may have been unfair in comments about Madonna's supposed miming on stage. At a charity fundraiser in Los Angeles he said: "It was probably a bit unfair because there are people who lip- sync worse and whole shows are lip-synced. Her show is not wholly lip-synced. "Madonna is a great artist, a great performer and a great writer." He had erupted over her nomination for best live act at a London awards ceremony earlier this month, saying: "F*** off ! Since when has lipsyncing been live?" http://www.thisislondon.com/showbiz/articl...ning%20Standard

What did the article say about deterioration and the two formats?

They call this a Saturn Return in Astrological terms. At around the age of 28-30, everything changes...

9 Die in Japan Suicides Tied to Web By JAMES BROOKE Published: October 13, 2004 TOKYO, Oct. 12 - Nine people were found dead on Tuesday in two rented cars with the windows sealed and charcoal burners at their feet in pacts that the police said were facilitated by Internet suicide sites. The police said that in the first car, a minivan that had been rented for the day, they found seven bodies, including teenagers and a 33-year-old woman who had left a note for her children. Parked on a mountain road in a Tokyo suburb, the gray van had been wrapped in blue plastic sheets with the windows taped closed. Inside, the woman's body was in the driver's seat, and there were three bodies on each of the van bench seats. All were believed to have died of carbon monoxide poisoning. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/13/internat...ia/13japan.html