Do You Crave Financial Freedom?

[DudeAsInCool]

Do you crave financial freedom? Do you dream of one day owning that Aspen vacation home, or a cigarette boat that will rattle the windows of even the most sumptuous yacht?

You TOO can get rich, if you merely follow my simple rules to financial excellence. It only requires 2 steps!

STEP 1: Find a compulsive gambler, who happens to be a Republican. (Don’t worry! There are HUNDREDS of them!)

STEP 2: Brag like a mad bastard about the poor re-election prospects of Bush. Raise your voice, and proclaim that ONLY A GODDAMN FOOL would think Bush has a chance in Hades of escaping humiliation on Nov. 2.

STEP #3: Once this Republican is good and lathered up, say: “Oh YEAH? Well I bet you THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS that Bush will not win his home state!”

And that’s it. You will become rich. I have made this bet with close to 70 Republicans. On November 3rd, they will have no choice but to pay up, once it is clear that Bush has failed to win the state of Connecticut.

One of the people with whom I have made this wager figured out the trick. (We shall call him SATCHEL). Satchel looked up Bush’s place of birth on Google, and was quite shocked to see that Bush is a New Englander - born in that small Texas town of New Haven, Connecticut. But Satchel is a gambler of Good Faith. He admitted he made the Wrong Bet, and has paid me the $3000 wager in advance.

I have used that $3000 to hire an Enormous Goon w/ Hairy Knuckles. He will accompany me on my November 3rd rounds, when I will collect my winnings from these SUCKERS and FOOLS. If they don’t pay up, this Goon will hold them down while I cut off their big toes. Have you ever seen someone with no big toes try to walk? It is near impossible. They look like a penguin on Quaaludes.

Yes, they will have no choice but to pay up.

In summation: You TOO can get rich off my scheme! We shall march on a road of bones!

[Meehowski]

I'm on it.........

Can do!!

[Shawn]

Nice.

[Wolfie]

So if Bush does win (just playin devi'ls advocate) I am assuming you will be leaving the country on Nov. 3rd? :P ;)

[DudeAsInCool]

Im as confident about this bet as I was about the Yankees

[Wolfie]

[slum_goddess]

Find a compulsive gambler, who happens to be a Republican. (Don’t worry! There are HUNDREDS of them!)

millions, it's part of their definition of 'family values'

[Wolfie]

The only downside is if you do win you won't get Bush's standard tax break for the rich next year, Dude.

[DudeAsInCool]

The only downside is if you do win you won't get Bush's standard tax break for the rich next year, Dude.

If we're lucky :bigsmile: