Meat Puppets' Cris Kirkwood Shot

[Shawn]

You want to read this story.

According to Billboard, the Meat Puppets bassist was shot in the stomach last Friday outside a Phoenix post office. In a strange turn of events, he was shot by a security guard of the facility after a fellow motorist complained about him.

Following a rush for a parking stall which Kirkwood lost, he engaged in an argument with the other motorist, a woman who got the spot. As she walked away, Kirkwood continued to yell obscenities at her. She went to the security guard and pointed Kirkwood out as somebody who was bothering her. The guard approached the Meat Puppet bassist and demanded he leave the area. Kirkwood refused.

The guard pulled out his baton and threatened Kirkwood with it. As a sign of good sense when threatened by the guard, the musician took the baton away from the guard and instead hit him with it.

Turn around is fair play, no? No. The guard pulled a gun and shot Kirkwood. He's alive in the hospital, and the guard is claiming self defense.

[DudeAsInCool]

I feel sorry for the meat puppet guy. People are becoming pushier and pushier these days, grabbing parking places, cutting people off on the road--it seems like we are living in the wild, wild west.

Stupid of him to grab the guards baton--even stupider of the guard to fire at the guy. These people all sound like assholes...

[HolyMoly]

Actually, the only asshole I see in this scenario is Kirkwood himself. First, he lets himself get all worked up over a parking slot. Then, he becomes verbally abusive to the person who beat him to the slot (there must have been a reason she beat him there). Then, during a time when the whole country is on Orange alert, he assaults a guard on Federal property. Frankly, I say "good show" to the security guard. Perhaps this will teach Kirkwood a lesson in anger management he'd not otherwise have learned.

BTW, that "security guard" referred to in the Billboard article was not a rent-a-cop. The Postal Service doesn't hire them. It was, in all likelihood, a Federal Protective Service officer (see their website) or a security guard contracted by F.P.S. But even if it was a contract employee, the guard was still a Fed. In short, by hitting the guard with the baton, Kirkwood is guilty of assaulting a Federal Officer (with the same jurisdiction of a United States Marshall) on Federal property. And, when Kirkwood gets out of the hospital, he'll likely have an arrest warrant waiting for him.

[Shawn]

'assault with a dangerous weapon'

[HolyMoly]

'assault with a dangerous weapon'

Yup, I figured he would be arrested. Now he faces 10 years in stir in a Federal slammer. On top of that, the guard could (and probably will) sue Kirkwood in civil court for pain and suffering. On the criminal case, a lot will depend on Kirkwood's "priors" (if any). If he's got a clean criminal record, he'll probably just get a hefty fine, community service time, and mandatory anger management therapy. But, if he's got even one felony, he's fucked. Either way, I suspect that guard now knows who he is ($$$) and will find himself a contingency lawyer to cash in on Kirkwood's poor judgment. And, it'll end up being Kirkwood's most expensive temper tantrum.

[spraymonkey]

Coming from a VERY aggresive driver,sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and let the other guy(or girl)have it.Letting things escalate to this point is not just stupid it's insane.He's lucky the other driver wasn't packing.

[HolyMoly]

He's lucky the other driver wasn't packing.

Or lucky that the lady didn't have a 6-foot-tall 350-pound boyfriend sitting in the passenger seat (grin). Cris Kirkwood the "Meat Puppet" could have become "Meat Puppet Meat" in very short order, hehe.