Stupid Is As Stupid Does...

[HolyMoly]

Stupid news:

(1) When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time, it worked.

(2) A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

(3) After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

(4) A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.

(5) A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A FUCK-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a fuck-up!"

(6) An Arkansas man wanted liquor and decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

(7) As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

(8) Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home with the chain still attached to the machine, with their bumper still attached to the chain, with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

(9) When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[ASUmusicMAN]

OMG....sooooo funny!!!!!!

[Shawn]

Thank you.

Each one of those was worthy of a comment. Rather than requote everything, I'll just tell you it made me laugh when I really needed it.

[HolyMoly]

You're welcome. BTW, did you know that ABC News has a page they constantly update called the "Crime Blotter" page -- with weird or funny news taken from newspapers nationwide. CLICK HERE for the link. What's there one day may be gone the next. Here's their current stuff:

‘Preacher’ Busted for Preaching Too Loud

CLINTON, Iowa — A self-styled street preacher was not preaching to the choir when a jury convicted him for his recent "sermon" at a Halloween parade.

A jury took less than an hour Monday to convict Mike Anderson of disorderly conduct for preaching to an unreceptive congregation that was watching Clinton's annual Mardi Gras parade on Oct. 27. Anderson continued to yell, "You're damned to hell!" at parade watchers, despite police orders to lower his voice.

Law enforcement officials said Anderson was arrested after he ignored multiple police warnings and continued shouting at the crowd as he stood on a decorative fountain.

Following his conviction, Anderson was fined $100, plus court costs. He vowed to not pay the fine.

"I'm not going to pay a dime to a city that arrests a preacher for preaching the Gospel," Anderson said. "I'll sit in jail. I'll rot."

Anderson could be charged with contempt of court and jailed up to 30 days if he does not pay the fine within 60 days.

The Grinch Kidnapped

NEW CITY, N.Y. — Call it a case of the thief who stole the Grinch. An 8-foot, inflatable replica of the main character from Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas vanished from a yard on a New City residence this past weekend. Sandy Blanco, the owner of the stolen Grinch, hung a sign where the decoration once stood that said, "Someone stole our Grinch! Have a heart, please bring it back."

Clarkstown police Sgt. Harry Baumann told The Journal News between eight and 10 similar Christmas decorations have been stolen from homes since Dec. 1. He said he suspects the thieves may be mischievous children.

Blanco hopes the Christmas spirit will come over the Grinch thieves.

"Normally, people don't do these type of things," she told The Associated Press. "It's such a Grinch thing to do."

A Perfect Arrest for a Perfect Host

CONWAY, N.H. — An alleged bank robber was the perfect host for police officers at a restaurant, but he just couldn't make the perfect getaway.

Michael Mahone was suspected of a robbery in Maine in November and police had received a tip that he was working at a restaurant in Conway. A car Mahone was believed to have stolen was spotted at the restaurant on Dec. 12, and detectives and uniformed officer decided to enter and ask for a table.

Mahone greeted the officers and seated them. However, he then tried to flee the restaurant through the back door, police said.

Mahone was intercepted at the kitchen by other officers on the scene and a police dog. The Conway police officers then celebrated their catch at a scheduled Christmas party.

[rainbowdemon]

Some hilarious stuff there,bud!!