Bob Lefsetz Rips the Hit Charts

[DudeAsInCool]

What a pleasure this is to read...

http://rhino.com/rzine/storykeeper.lasso?storyID=649

[DudeAsInCool]

For those too lazy to open the link:

43. N'Sync "Greatest Hits"

Jive

Sales this week: 19,204

DEBUT!!!

And here we have what's wrong with the record business. The real reason sales are down. Everything sold today has the smell of a turd tomorrow. Not even 20,000 kids want to remember the biggest band of five years ago. They're ASHAMED of it!

It's all about building catalog. Which none of today's companies are doing, they're just selling evanescent hits, EXPENSIVELY!

Furthermore, there's nowhere to HEAR most of what they make, since the mainstream outlets air so little.

But really, it's the customer's fault.

Yeah, right.

:rotfl:

[DudeAsInCool]

5. The Black Eyed Peas "Monkey Business"

A&M Interscope

Sales this week: 79,146

Percentage change: -14%

From: Zach Davis

Subject: Black Eyed Peas - Are you fucking kidding me?

Date: Monday October 24, 2005 2:29 PM

Are these really the shitty lyrics that are getting played? Is this really what's hip? I almost threw up hearing this song on the radio, and just threw up in my mouth reading the lyrics. Almost as disgusting as music today, huh?

My Humps

by Black Eyed Peas

Album : Monkey Business (2005)

What you gon' do with all that junk?

All that junk inside your trunk?

I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these scrubbers crazy,

I do it on the daily,

They treat me really nicely,

They buy me all these ice-ys.

Dolce & Gabbana,

Fendi and then Donna

Karan, they be sharin'

All their money got me wearin'

Fly gearrr but I ain't askin,

They say they love my ass 'n,

Se7en Jeans, True Religion,

I say no, but they keep givin'

So I keep on takin'

And no I ain't fakin'

We can keep on datin'

I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love

You love my lady lumps,

My hump, my hump, my hump,

My humps they got u,

She's got me spending.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.

She's got me spendin'.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

What u gon' do with all that ass?

All that ass inside them jeans?

I'm a make, make, make, make you scream

Make u scream, make you scream.

Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.

She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.

I could be your baby, you can be my honey

Lets spend time not money.

I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,

Milky, milky cocoa,

Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,

The boys they wanna sex me.

They always standing next to me,

Always dancing next to me,

Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.

Lookin' at my lump, lump.

U can look but you can't touch it,

If u touch it I'ma start some drama,

You don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

So don't pull on my hand boy,

You ain't my man, boy,

I'm just tryn'a dance boy,

And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.

My lovely lady lumps x3

In the back and in the front.

My lovin' got u,

She's got me spendin'.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.

She's got me spendin'.

(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,

Get you love drunk off my hump.

What you gon' do with all that ass?

All that ass inside them jeans?

I'ma make, make, make, make you scream

Make you scream, make you scream.

What you gon do with all that junk?

All that junk inside that trunk?

I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,

Get you love drunk off this hump.

What you gon' do wit all that breast?

All that breast inside that shirt?

I'ma make, make, make, make you work

Make you work, work, make you work.

She's got me spendin'.

Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me

She's got me spendin'.

Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

6. Ashlee Simpson "I Am Me"

Geffen

Sales this week: 71,654

Percentage change: -69%

Somewhere John Kalodner is rolling over in his grave. Oops, JK/JK's not dead yet? Well, I guess rock music is.

Some ex-Geffen employee should stand up like the Nazi in "The Producers" and say THIS ISN'T GEFFEN RECORDS! GEFFEN PUT OUT RECORDS WITH CREDIBILITY!

Enough of the media spin. She's over. Fuck that first week number. That's just idiot prepubescent girls who didn't get the memo yet. Ashlee's TOAST! (Unless, of course, Jordan wants to spend a ton of money to jam one of these tracks down our throats just to prove he's still a genius.)

:wha':

[method77]

cool read dude