What George Bush's speech really meant

[Kooperman]

Draft No. 9

What George W. Bush might have said—at least as our columnist jokingly imagines it

WEB EXCLUSIVE

By Patti Davis

Newsweek

Updated: 6:21 p.m. ET Jan. 20, 2005

“My fellow Americans, I stand before you now as the proud winner of another four years. I have a mandate. In plain English, I can do whatever I darn well please.” (Note to Prez: a bit hostile, I think. Can we get the word freedom in as soon as possible?)

“It is the policy of the United States, as long as I’m in charge, to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture. If those places don’t want democracy, we will move in and do it for them. They don’t know what’s good for them. I do.” (Note to the president: Definitely use the word freedom here. Freedom’s like ice-cream—can’t go wrong with it. Might even be able to get away with the moving in on them part then.)

“We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: it’s my way or the highway. I am eternally right. Fifty-nine million people said so. We will succeed in imposing our own style of government on the unwilling. I’m from Texas. I don’t give up. I’m a confident guy—everyone knows that. I talk with a twang, I walk with a swagger and I carry a big stick. (Note to Leader of the Free World: Lose this graph … please.)

“We have known divisions in this country. Matter of fact, we still know them. We are a divided nation. Just look at those folks with the blue wrist bands way back there behind the barricades (Note to fact-checker: we are having barricades, aren’t we? Don’t want rabble-rousers too close to me.) Let me be clear. All you people in the so-called Blue States? I don’t care about you. I’m a Red State guy and there are plenty of us out there. We will prevail. Gosh darn it, we have four years in which to do it. Should be enough time if we work hard.” (Note to GWB: Your confidence is impressive, sir, but could we tone it down? Once again, more use of the word freedom. Will check on the barricade situation.)

“As all the allies of the United States know (Note to fact-checker: do we still have any allies?), we honor your friendship. As long as you don’t argue with what I want to do, who I want to invade or my ideas about the whole global situation (Note to fact-checker: not sure what that means, global situation—just thought it sounded good), we’ll get along fine. We will march into the future as a firmly divided nation, and we will not care what history says about us because we are right and we’ll all be dead by the time they write about us anyway.” (Note to president: “Could we meet in person about this last graph, sir? We need to work on the attitude. Will check on the ally thing. Possible that Poland still likes us, though not sure. We’re going to need a few more drafts of the speech before we get it right.)

Davis, the daughter of Nancy and Ronald Reagan, is a writer based in Los Angeles

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6849820/site/newsweek/

[Warflower]

This s.o.b.!

You know it's obscene the amount of money spent on his party...when it could have gone to armour every one of our soliders and reinforced their jeeps...! Motherfucker! You know our guys are picking up shit that been blown up and screwing it onto their jeeps for extra protection..

What's this about a mandatory "reenlist", seems the administration has found a "back door"? If you sign up for 4 years and say hey! Thank God I'm done...I'm going home...our government has the right to reenlist you? SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKIN' DRAFT TO ME! Bastards! He's cut back on the vets healthcare/pay WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON...I just heard this (I need to read more!).

This just plain pisses me off and makes me wanna hit someone big time. :duck hunt: :shootin:

FOR THE MILITARY MY ASS. :evil:

Edited January 21, 2005 by Warflower

[method77]

What Europe's papers focus on:

He never used the word 'terrorism" or "Iraq".

The papers also focus on Laura's dress cause they are tired of writing about Bush. Also Europeans are tired of bashing Bush and they don't give a fuck anymore. Goverment's also are tired of them and also don't give a fuck.

This might sound like some stupid response but it should trouble all american citizens. Your goverment is "sliding away" from the rest of the world

[DudeAsInCool]

Lots of ideals and no specifics--that's what his speech meant. "Peace to the world ASAP even if it means having war to get it" :(

[slum_goddess]

This might sound like some stupid response but it should trouble all american citizens. Your goverment is "sliding away" from the rest of the world

that's the impression i get from reading papers over here, bah...that motherfucker has so totally ruined my/our country. fuck, i hate him so much. and i agree w/every fucking word Warflower posted. i almost shit when i read late last year that the wounded at walter reed couldn't even afford to telephone their own goddamn families. I HATE HIS FUCKING ASS!

[Wolfie]

Another fours years down the crap hole. :(

[Redneck4sure]

Lots of ideals and no specifics--that's what his speech meant.

The same thing Kerry did. Isn't it amazing how they all talk without saying anything. <_>