The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground (Review, Video, Lyrics)

[DudeAsInCool]

In his review today, The Passion of Weiss nominates the Digital Underground's Sex Packets as the number one rap album of all time.

Let's just get it out the way: "Humpty Dance" is the best party rap record of all-time. I know there's a lot of competitors. Realistically, you could pick any of the Tribe Called Quest singles through Midnight Marauders, or practically anything from The Chronic or Doggystyle. Not to mention, "Bust a Move," "Me Myself and I," and "Funky Cold Medina," among many others. But when push comes to shove, I'm rolling with the man the ladies knew as Humpty, pronounced with an Ump-tee, (and not just because I'm capable of a spot-on Humpty Hump impression capable of turning heads at your local karaoke night).

The first track of 1990's seminal Sex Packets, "The Humpty Dance," has everything you could dream of in a party song. A rumbling head-nodding bass line, witty risque lyrics about "doing girls in burger king bathrooms," admonitions for fat girls to come for tickling purposes. Plus, it came equipped with its very own dance (where you limp to the side like your legs were broken/shaking and twitching like you were smoking/crazy wack funky/so that people will say you look like MC Hammer on crack). And looking like MC Hammer on crack is spectacular in my book. I imagine it looks rather similar to the video for Addams Family Groove.

...Of course, the Sex Packets mini-suite of the album's final five songs is predictably sex-obsessed, as "sex packets" were the fictional invention of Underground member, Schmoovy Shmoov, who had the idea for a drug that could induce vivid sexual dreams and eventually orgasms. To promote the album, a fake newsletter was circulated to California medical clinics, for which the ‘sex packets’ even got notice in USA Today (the newsletter claimed that NASA was secretly developing them for astronauts, as relief on extended space stints).

Face it--it was a good idea :) You can read the full review at Passion of Weiss, grab an mp3 in the process, or if you're lazy, you can just watch the video as your read the lyrics below:

[DudeAsInCool]

Lyrics

Verse One: Humpty Hump (Shock G)

A'ight, stop whatcha doin'

'Cause I'm about to ruin

The image and the style that ya used to.

I look funny,

But yo, I'm makin' money, see

So yo world I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather 'round

I'm the new fool in town

And my sound's laid down by the Underground.

I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf

So just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.

Yo ladies, oh how I like to funk thee.

And all the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee.

I'm steppin' tall, y'all,

And just like Humpty Dumpty

You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.

I like to rhyme,I like my beats funky,

I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack

But sometimes I get ridiculous

I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice

Hey yo fat girl, c'mere - are ya ticklish?

Yeah, I called ya fat.

Look at me, I'm skinny

It never stopped me from gettin' busy

I'm a freak

I like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy.

Allow me to amaze thee.

They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.

I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants

And I even got my own dance

{Chorus:}

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Verse Two:

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"

That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'

Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me

But ya can't get near me

I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,

All the girls they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere

'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed

Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,

Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large

I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,

I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid

I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,

I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits

Also told ya that I like to bite

Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.

All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance

And now I'm gonna do my dance.

{Chorus}

Breakdown:

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all

Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here

Oh, yeah!

Now that I told ya a little bit about myself

Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance

It's real easy to do - check it out

Verse Three:

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken

Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'

Crazy wack funky

People say "Ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty!"

That's all right 'cause my body's in motion

It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Anyone can play this game

This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name

No two people will do it the same

Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain

Humpin', funkin', jumpin',

Jig around, shakin' ya rump,

And when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump

Tell him "Step off, I'm doin' the Hump!"

{Chorus}

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump

Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stupid!

{Chorus}

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Outro:

Once again, the Underground is in the house

I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,

Keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,

And to the ladies,

Peace and humptiness forever

{Music and fade}

Source

[grab_grab_the_haddock]

haha I totally agree with this review. Sex packets is a really fun, funky album.