Out of the mouths of babes...

[MikeHunt]

Out of the mouths of Babes

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.

> > > > >> They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked

> > > > >> if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,

> > > > >> stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off

> > > > >> the neighbour's wife."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the

> > > > >> Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would

> > > > >> repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she

> > > > >> decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully

> > > > >> enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:

> > > > >> "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us

> > > > >> some E-mail. Amen."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up"

> > > > >> during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best

> > > > >> to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but, were losing

> > > > >> the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up

> > > > >> and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before

> > > > >> reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called

> > > > >> loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our

> > > > >> trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our

> > > > >> baskets."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make

> > > > >> me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real

> > > > >> good time like I am."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they

> > > > >> were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary

> > > > >> to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied,

> > > > >> "Because people are sleeping."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as

> > > > >> he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking

> > > > >> the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting

> > > > >> wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it

> > > > >> again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in

> > > > >> the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he

> > > > >> gets loose, will he hurt us?"

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were

> > > > >> sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked

> > > > >> out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're

> > > > >> not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going

> > > > >> to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the

> > > > >> church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

> > > > >> They're hushers."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5,

> > > > >> Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the

> > > > >> first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral

> > > > >> lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my

> > > > >> brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to

> > > > >> his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A father was at the beach with his children when the four-

> > > > >> year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to

> > > > >> the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy,

> > > > >> what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to

> > > > >> Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then

> > > > >> said, "Did God throw him back down?"

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When

> > > > >> I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank

> > > > >> you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says

> > > > >> you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she

> > > > >> turned to their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you

> > > > >> like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say,"

> > > > >> the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the

> > > > >> wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord,

> > > > >> why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

> > > > >> ---

> > > > >>

> > > > >> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created

> > > > >> everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child

> > > > >> in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when

> > > > >> they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

> > > > >> Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he

> > > > >> were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?" Little

> > > > >> Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm

> > > > >> going to have a wife....!"

:rotfl: :psychofun: