Tiremonkey2000

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves. A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves. The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?" The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, "Secret Service!" Sex is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. You might be a redneck if you can french kiss with a toothpick in your mouth *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Uncle Jack and Aunty Mable Fainted at the breakfast table. Let this be an awful warning Not to do it in the morning. Ovaltine has put them right Now they do it morn and night Uncle Jack is hoping soon To do it in the afternoon. Hark the herald angels sing Ovaltine is a damned good thing. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As a couple were getting ready for bed, the husband coming from the athroom and jumps in bed, his wife whines "I have a headache" he replies "Perfect!! I just powdered my dick in aspirin, you can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you " *** A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* My wife she is a hooker, Of this she's mighty proud, And the stories of her exploits, Are legends in our town, She's shameless with her talents, She'll go hooking anywhere, And if people want to watch her, She really doesnt't care, It seems to be a family thing, Her mother taught her how, Seems her grandma was a hooker, And my daughters hooking now, She goes to hookers meetings, To learn the new techniques, She starts hooking in a frenzy, And won't talk to me for weeks, She doesn't do the housework, She doesn't make the beds, No she doen't have time for that, She'd rather hook instead, My wife she is a hooker, And I curse that awful day, When she first picked up the hook and yarn, And learned how to crochet *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

:rotfl:

Ok here you go :D

low 69 humidity 90% high 71 here :D

:good job: Yea Godzilla

:horny:

Redneck Wedding

ooooowwwwww Dam that hurt just looking at it :nope:

Maroney

:hyper: :yup: :good job:

I have too agree with Ken :reallymad:

Awesome site method77 lightening strikes are bad ass :yup:

Too Cool

Could be a boy in diguise :horny:

Train-Drops of Jupiter

:rotfl:

Price

Jim Croce - You dont mess around with jim

Insane Clown Posse - slim anus (uncut) Eminem parody :rotfl: Linkin Park - Runaway

Pumpkin Pie

They got hacked I found out at the consortium by rastagard :)

Snowshoe was where i first learned too ski about 20 years ago did great after lunch when we all got liquered up :gigglin: :lmao: still it was lots of fun