Jim Colyer

We traveled 'round the country Had a good time People couldn't believe She was all mine She said she understood Why Shania married A father figure But I'd been married She Met A Young Guy And everything changed I couldn't compete With the ways of youth She Met A Young Guy And she went with him Yeah, she left me cold Reality set in We recorded together Played shows in Nashville I tried like hell To get her a deal I can still hear her breathe As we lay there in the dark But I had a son And he came first She Met A Young Guy And everything changed I couldn't compete With the ways of youth She Met A Young Guy And she went with him Yeah, she left me cold Reality set in Jim Colyer ascap

1 Bridget Regan 2 Taylor Cole 3 Jennifer Love Hewitt 4 Adrianne Palicki 5 Natalie Glebova 6 Gina Carano 7 Jessica Biel 8 Evangeline Lilly 9 Megan Gale 10 Gemma Arterton 11 Olivia Wilde 12 Bar Rafaeli 13 Lynn Collins 14 Olivia Munn 15 Cobie Smulders 16 Jamie Alexander 17 Brooklyn Decker 18 Odette Yustman 19 Jennifer Lawrence 20 Sarah Lancaster

4 more years! http://web.yesnetwork.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20131009&content_id=62755522&oid=36019&partnerId=ed-7672533-55442140

Who's That Old Man Who's That Old Man I see Who's That Old Man in the mirror Surely to God it ain't me My hair turned gray Then it turned white And now it's gone Plum outta sight Neuropathy in my hands Arthritis in my knees I nearly fall down Everytime I sneeze Who's That Old Man Who's That Old Man I see Who's That Old Man in the mirror Surely to God it ain't me Call me a dirty old man Call me insane guitar Sex drive driving me crazy Still hanging with 30 year olds I'll still be when I'm 90 It's the last thing to go Arrested development You can say I'm immature When it comes to young women Hope they never find a cure Who's That Old Man Who's That Old Man I see Who's That Old Man in the mirror Surely to God it ain't me Who's That Old Man Who's That Old Man I see Who's That Old Man in the mirror Surely to God it ain't me Jim Colyer ascap

It started in Japan back in '71 We all knew it was gonna be fun Attracted millions of wannabes Got to admit, one of them's me Elvis and The Beatles rolled into one I like singing ABBA's "Dancing Queen" I even do some Shania Twain Let's take a ride on the "Pontoon" Karaoke's Here To Stay It's never gonna fade away It's a great way to let off steam A great way to live your dream We know now this ain't no fad Some songs are happy, others are sad Sing your favorites either way Karaoke's Here To Stay Three nights a week I'm at 151 Make my way into The Beaver I can't wait to get on the stage I've got karaoke fever I'm not that good of a singer Sometimes the worst one in the bar It don't matter, they all clap Everyone nowadays is a star Karaoke's Here To Stay It's never gonna fade away It's a great way to let off steam A great way to live your dream We know now this ain't no fad Some songs are happy, others are sad Sing your favorites either way Karaoke's Here To Stay Cheap entertainment, get the most Be sure and tip the host Chorus Jim Colyer ascap

I was huge on Shania Twain Back in the late nineties Had her poster on my wall Wanted to get in her panties I've been huge on Karen Fairchild That Little Big Town Band I just love Kimberly's hair Got to admit, I'm their fan Huge Bigger than a hot air balloon Huge Larger than a big full moon Huge Bigger than the Milky Way Huge Brighter than the light of day I was looking for a girl friend Someone to see me through I looked up and you were there Baby, now I'm huge on you I'm huge on the love you give Wanting more of what you do Wanting you here in my bed Wanting you to want me too Huge Bigger than a hot air balloon Huge Larger than a big full moon Huge Bigger than the Milky Way Huge Brighter than the light of day Jim Colyer ascap

This is a duet. I mean to record it with a girl named Kaylan and a guy named Adam. They will begin with the chorus. Harmonizing! Kaylan will sing the first verse. Adam will sing the second. I want it big, like the Jason Aldean/Kelly Clarkson duet. I went to ascap and did a work tape. [url]http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/flash/player?f=/music/flash/playlist.xml%3Ft%3D510[/url] LET ME LOVE YOU Let Me Love You Let me try You know I want you I can't lie Let me kiss you Hold you tight Let Me Love You Tonight I've been alone so long I've paid some dues The darkest hours are gone I'm shaking off the blues Sometimes it seems Everyone's for themselves It makes it hard To love someone else Let Me Love You Let me try You know I want you I can't lie Let me kiss you Hold you tight Let me love you Tonight We've been around the block We've played the game The best is yet to come Let me be your man We're both looking for Someone to care Let's get our share Let Me Love You Let me try You know I want you I can't lie Let me kiss you Hold you tight Let Me Love You Tonight Let Me Love You If it's alright Jim Colyer ascap

This is Nashville If you ain't tough You will be Or you don't have a prayer This is Nashville They roll in here From everywhere This old town don't care It's a Tough Town It's seen it all You'll go home If you don't have money Tough Town We can all sing We can all play Got our own songs, son (honey) Think your songs are good They all think that And that's why They leave good jobs behind Leave their girl friends Leave their boy friends They have no clue 'Bout the hell they'll find It's a Tough Town It's seen it all You'll go home If you don't have money Tough Town We can all sing We can all play Got our own songs, son (honey) Bridge: There's room at the top For only a few I'd bet my last dollar It ain't you guitar This is Nashville They roll in here From everywhere This old town don't care It's a Tough Town It's seen it all You'll go home If you don't have money Tough Town We can all sing We can all play Got our own songs, son (honey) Jim Colyer ascap

A great Yankee! http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/23748942/report-yankees-andy-pettitte-to-announce-retirement

The ones before you Have faded away There'll be no others From this day I always wanted Someone to stay with Someone to get Older with I Adore You I'll die for you Even better I'll live for you I Adore You I worship you Love of my life I'll give to you I'm tired of making It hard on myself This is forever No one else I'm dedicated This is where I land You're my woman I'm your man I Adore You I'll die for you Even better I'll live for you I Adore You I worship you Love of my life I'll give to you Jim Colyer ascap

It's absolute hell Being in love With someone else's Fiance or wife It's happened 4 times As I look back Across the years Of my depraved life Women Torture Me I want them all Because of that I can't have any Women drive me nuts They rule my life There's just no end There's way too many The first was Jonelle A tragic lady Knew how to suffer Madame Bovary The second was Karen I had a good run Broke up their marriage And I got my son Women Torture Me I want them all Because of that I can't have any Women drive me nuts They rule my life There's just no end There's way too many The third was Dawn Lasted 15 years Still think about her Cried a million tears The fourth is Rhonda Here we go again But now I'm old A sexual has-been Women Torture Me I want them all Because of that I can't have any Women drive me nuts They rule my life There's just no end There's way too many Coda: At least when I die I won't be tortured By women no more I'll be free at last Thank God, free at last! Jim Colyer ascap

Oh God! Help me! I know you don't exist But help me anyway Oh God! Free me! The cobster's been on me On me all day He told me I got no faith It's the f word again I don't believe in faith I don't believe in sin I thought there was a dinosaur Lurking in my bathroom Evolving into a bird Oh God! I hate birds! Oh God! Help me! I know you're not real But help me anyway Oh God! Free me! The lobster's been on me On me all night (The music builds to a crescendo like the finale of "A Day In The Life" as the muffled bridge is rapped in the background). Bridge: This is unacceptable We need more accountability We need more transparency We need to know what our options are (Crescendo ends) Organ He told me I'm gullible Got no judgment at all I don't appreciate Can't be trusted at all I dreamt of an anaconda Killed it with my hatchet As the KKK Rose outta the water Oh God! Help me! I know you don't exist But help me anyway Oh God! Free me! The mobster's been on me On me all day Oh God! Save me! I know it's only An expression we say guitar Jim Colyer ascap

People Misinterpret Everything They understand nothing They look at white and see black They look at black and see white People Misinterpret Everything They just see what they want They look at right and see wrong They look at wrong and see right People Misinterpret Everything They just hear their own voice They look at night and see day They look at day and see night People Misinterpret Everything They just feel their own way They look at light and see dark They look at dark and see light Jim Colyer ascap

Standing at my mother's grave Tears flowing like water Her life ended in failure Defeated, crushed forever Preacher said to celebrate Celebrate my mother's life Only thing he's celebrating Is another pay day The Paradox Of Life Born to die Still we question Why why why The Paradox of life Where's the purpose What's the reason We should die Hamlet peering at the skull Poor Yorick! I knew him, Jim A man of infinite jest I sure hope he's in heaven He carried me on his back We laughed until our sides hurt How hideous he looks now His bones rotting in the dirt The Paradox Of Life Born to die Still we question Why why why The Paradox of life Where's the purpose What's the reason We should die New Horizons at Pluto Looking back on ourselves 3 billion miles from our earth From here we're invisible Could it be we're just scum Floating on a grain of sand Or do we even exist This illusion we call man The Paradox Of Life Born to die Still we question Why why why The Paradox of life Where's the purpose What's the reason We should die Jim Colyer ascap

I Talked To Jesus It was just last night He stood near my bed All dressed in white He spoke of the Rapture His arms open wide I saw marks in his hands The wound in his side Tonight I'm in a hospital On a locked mental ward I'm not the only one Been talking to the Lord Doug here sees demons Seems he tied one on Bobby claims he's Buddha Ned thinks he's Napoleon Tomorrow it's shock treatment 10 should do the trick Just want to be normal God knows I've been sick Got to come to my senses Get well and go home Spend time with my girl Leave that mushroom alone Jim Colyer ascap

I sat on the 16th Street Mall In downtown Denver Just resting from my walk Watching people as they passed A girl came up to me Do you have any money for food? She asked so pitifully I said no and looked away Blacks and Hispanics were everywhere Middle-age white men showed their calves In their funny pants and flip-flops Sunglasses on their bald heads I don't know if they're gay I imagine they have boy friends While women make love To their dogs and cats This ain't 1953, I thought Sure as hell ain't 1923 What happened to our society? What happened to normalcy? Too many pointless wars Too many football games Too many horror movies Too many SUVs Too much alcohol Too much marijuana Too much communication Too much porn Too much crazy music Too much television Too much education Too much food So-called men, tattooed up Metal stuck in their faces Their kids now speaking Spanish Sliding into the Third World Women who once primped Wore dresses and heels Now wearing torn jeans Obese and dirty Suddenly I saw them Strolling on the sidewalk Two men holding hands Oh God! I'm gonna puke! Degenerate America Greatness in retrograde Foreigners in control Just don't be a racist! Later as I downed a Big Mac I thought about the girl on 16th I should have fed her And taken her to my motel Jim Colyer ascap

I flew to Denver, August 10, 2013, with Southwest Airlines. I checked into the Ramada on E. Colfax and hung out on the 16th Street Pedestrian Mall. There are shops and restaurants. I bought a T-shirt at the Hard Rock Cafe and told the girl about my song, "Save The Planet." 17th Street is the "Wall Street of the West." It is Denver's financial district. The Wells Fargo Center is the "Cash Register Building," and I walked around it. I wanted to tour the Denver Mint but had to settle for seeing it out of the corner of my eye as I was leaving town. This is where they make coins. Denver was founded in 1858. It is called the Mile High City because it is 5,280 feet above sea level. Interstate-25 runs north and south. Interstate-70 runs east and west. Denver is in the Mountain Time Zone, 1200 miles from Nashville. Population is over 600,000. There is a government presence. There are companies related to energy and the space program. The Rocky Mountains are rich in minerals, and mining is important to Denver's economy. I drove north to the town of Estes Park, the gateway to Rocky Mountain National Park. The Perseid meteor shower was clouded out. Such things are unpredictable. No one controls nature. I found the Estes Park Observatory and listened to a talk about planets with the Estes Park Astronomical Society. I slept in McDonald's parking lot. I toured Rocky Mountain National Park with the Rocky Mountain Transit Management. It cost $32. We drove Trail Ridge Road to the Continental Divide, that point from which water flows west into the Pacific Ocean and east into the Atlantic Ocean. I stood at the sign marking the Divide at Milner Pass. Continental Divide [url]http://www.google.com/search?q=continental+divide+sign&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.50768961,d.aWc,pv.xjs.s.en_US.E_1kRF_UP4s.O&biw=1024&bih=599&wrapid=tlif137676371024310&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=TL8PUqYWhO7bBefZgegG#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=MuDYrqVcsnD8YM%3A%3BHFMikWMeVSIJ_M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fupload.wikimedia.org%252Fwikipedia%252Fcommons%252F3%252F3c%252FContinental_Divide_sign%252C_RMNP%252C_CO_IMG_5297.JPG%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fcommons.wikimedia.org%252Fwiki%252FFile%253AContinental_Divide_sign%252C_RMNP%252C_CO_IMG_5297.JPG%3B4000%3B3000[/url] We stopped at the Alpine Visitors Center about 12,000 feet above sea level. The view was inspirational. There was light rain and thunder and lightning in the distance. It was windy and chilly. Trail Ridge Road is 48 miles long. It is US 34 and the highest paved road in the country. Our guide talked geology: snow patches, ice fields, glaciers and moraines. Moraines are debris left by glaciers. He spoke of tree lines and tundra. A tundra is a treeless area. I stayed at the Discovery Lodge in Estes Park the night of August 12. It is on Big Thompson Avenue near the Visitor Center. I saw Little Big Town host the CMA Music Fest. While eating at KFC, I thought of Karen Fairchild. I drove past the Stanley Hotel, built by F.O. Stanley of Stanley Steamer fame. From Estes Park, it is an hour and 20 minutes back to Denver. I again drove through the town of Lyons. I dropped the car off at E-Z, checked in at Southwest, found my gate and flew to Nashville. I took a taxi to Vanderbilt. It occurred to me to make a list of the National Parks I have seen. I have been to 14 of the 59. ..1 Rocky Mountain ..2 Yellowstone ..3 Yosemite ..4 Death Valley ..5 Kings Canyon ..6 Sequoia ..7 Grand Canyon ..8 Saguaro ..9 Petrified Forest 10 Zion 11 Mesa Verde 12 Denali 13 Mammoth Cave 14 Great Smoky Mountains The National Parks have resort towns at their entrances. Estes Park is the gateway to RMNP. There are 401 National Park Service sites.

Sign said "Watch out for wildlife" I thought, "I'm the f-ing wildlife" Better watch out for me I'm driving drunk tonight Got my baby by my side She's face down on my lap She knows what I like And sure does it right Wildlife Cruising I-70 ninety miles an hour Leaving those semis In the rearview mirror Wildlife Dodging traffic like a bat outta hell Chasing Jack Daniels With another beer Blue light flashing in the mirror A siren so loud, it hurts my ears Those handcuffs sure hurt my wrists As I live out my deepest fears Don't matter, I'll be free tonight Baby's daddy's the Chief of Police I'll lay low for a couple weeks Then again disturb the peace Wildlife Cruising I-70 ninety miles an hour Leaving those semis In the rearview mirror Wildlife Dodging traffic like a bat outta hell Chasing Jack Daniels With another beer Bridge: My baby gets wild When we make love She likes living dangerously Never gets enough Guitar Chorus Jim Colyer ascap

The nights of August 11 & 12 and the mornings of August 12 & 13 are best. I'll be in the Rocky Mountains hoping for clear skies. Get ready for the Perseids [url]http://www.skyandtelescope.com/community/skyblog/observingblog/Get_Ready-for-the-2013_Perseids-218037521.html[/url] Everything you need to know about the Perseid meteor show [url]http://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/everything-you-need-to-know-perseid-meteor-shower[/url]

Even at my age, I prefer the company of young women. Singing Luke Bryan, Eric Church or Elvis' "Teddy Bear" communicates and attracts youth. The girls love it. I've become aware of several young female celebrities on the web. Of course, the LBT girls are my favorites. They are both 43. 1 KAREN FAIRCHILD is the brunette in LBT. She is married to Jimi in the group, and they have a young son. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Karen-Fairchild/161476880542773 2 KIMBERLY SCHLAPMAN is the curly-haired blonde in LBT. She is married and has a daughter. http://www.gactv.com/gac/shows_gckim/ 3 BRIDGET REGAN IS 31. She starred in a TV series called "Legend of the Seeker." She gets my vote to be the next Wonder Woman. http://herblueeyes.com/ 4 TAYLOR COLE is a 29-year-old beauty from Arlington, Texas. She will be the "other woman" in the forthcoming movie, "The Minister's Wife." http://taylorqcole.com/ 5 JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT is the darling of the talk shows. At 34, she is pregnant. She currently stars in "The Client List." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3AGz6LNtzg 6 ADRIANNE PALICKI did a Wonder Woman pilot. Despite being beautiful and sexy, she does not quite have the "Wonder Woman look." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrianne_Palicki 7 NATALIE GLEBOVA is Russian-born. Immigrating to Canada with her parents, she became Miss Universe 2005. She is stunning in a swimsuit! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-kR9GQANok

There was Jonelle with those deep blue eyes There was Pam with that golden voice There was Candy, she was so innocent There was Suzanne with her southern drawl Women Are A Drug You talk about possessed You talk about addiction You talk about obsessed You ain't been through hell Call it love, call it lust Til you've been hooked on women Women Are A Drug There was Joyce, she was way too young There was Diane in those Daisy Dukes There was Marilyn in her red high heels There was Cindy with those long lovely legs Women Are A Drug You talk about possessed You talk about addiction You talk about obsessed You ain't been through hell Call it love, call it lust Til you've been hooked on women Women Are A Drug They're worse than crack cocaine They're worse than karaoke guitar Chorus Jim Colyer ascap

You're the best The best ever I've seen em come Seen em go I'll hold on to you You've got to know that You're the last one The last one for me Come To Me When you're lonely That's all you gotta do I won't turn you away Come To Me When you're depressed I'll pull you from the shade Into the sunshine I love you, baby With me on your side You've got a real ally Remember that Life can be hard We die in the end Til then, you'll be my woman I'll be your man Come To Me When you're lonely That's all you gotta do I won't turn you away Come To Me When you're depressed I'll pull you from the shade Into the sunshine Jim Colyer ascap

You got those eyes that light up a room You got those lips that know how to kiss You got those teeth that highlight your smile You got those dimples that just can't miss You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! You got those shoulders so silky smooth You got those boobs sitting way up high You got that waist so supple and narrow You got those arms wrapped around me tight You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! I wanna be your only man I wanna sleep with you every night I want you lying here next to me I wanna love you in the morning light guitar You got those legs that go on forever You got those hips so shapely and fine You got those calves sculpted just right You got those feet perfectly divine You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! You Sexy! Rap: You Karen Fairchild You Kimberly Schlapman You Bridget Regan You Taylor Cole You Jennifer Love Hewitt You Katy Perry You Jennifer Aniston Rolled into one! Then some! Jim Colyer ascap

You say you found that one girl And her love will last your whole life You live together now but you'll get married You're gonna make that girl your wife But She's Got A Mother And that mother doesn't like you She's got a daddy And he hates you too You took their little girl away It doesn't matter that she's twenty-five It doesn't matter if she's a grown-up woman You'll never break those family ties She's Got A Mother And that mother doesn't like you She's got a daddy And he hates you too Bridge: Just wait until the baby comes Those grandparents will descend Like Harpies from hell Solo You're headed for some trouble You're still basking in the heat of love But love and sex have a way of fading She'll be drifting back to her parents She's Got A Mother And that mother doesn't like you She's got a daddy And he hates you too Her parents are planning your future So far they've been biding their time Speaking in whispers behind your back Looking forward to a late night ride She's Got A Mother And that mother doesn't like you She's got a daddy And he hates you too Jim Colyer ascap

We were sitting at the bar Engaged in some small talk It was karaoke night At BuckWild Saloon Somebody was singing "There's A Moon Out Tonight" She started singing along Yeah, she knew that tune She said, I'm a Romantic Girl I know all the old songs My parents had those records When I was a kid A Romantic Girl I grew up on Elvis Even been to Graceland And I'm going again Yeah, I like those beach movies And Frankie Avalon I've seen all that stuff It was so much fun Back in the days when Love was so innocent And couples stayed together Through thick and thin She said, I'm a Romantic Girl I know all the old songs My parents had those records When I was a kid A Romantic Girl I grew up on Elvis Even been to Graceland And I'm going again Her husband showed up And she moved to his table I couldn't help thinking He's a lucky man! Solo Chorus Jim Colyer ascap