Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Welcome Guest!

Join us now to get access to all our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, and so, so much more. It's also quick and totally free, so what are you waiting for?

BLACK LIVES MATTER! ×
BLACK LIVES MATTER!

Jim Colyer

Members
  • Content Count

    777
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    4

Everything posted by Jim Colyer

  1. Nothing To Look At She's Got No Body Thin as a rake Lordy! Lordy! Hair's a mess Ugly as sin Ain't no telling Where she's been Nothing To Look At Got a big nose Teeth are crooked Panty line shows Looks like Hillary The morning after Pocahontas After the laughter She wants to dance Think I'll pass Got no boobs Got no ass Nothing To Look At She's Got No Body Thin as a rake Lordy! Lordy! I'm going home I'm outta here She's drunk Too much beer JimColyer.com
  2. You're so beautiful You've got that smile Mind if I stop Talk for a while? Don't be alarmed If I seem to stare You've got that Farrah Fawcett Hair You're pure seventies You're such a delight Such an angel Your teeth are white My name's not Charlie But I still care You've got that Farrah Fawcett Hair This could be 1977 You could be a little piece of heaven In your bell bottoms You take me back You're like a dream You've got the knack Don't be alarmed If I seem to stare You've got that Farrah Fawcett Hair JimColyer.com
  3. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK (Tribute To ABBA) Sunday morning Soaking in the tub Listening to ABBA Can't get enough Those songs are classics They fade for a while But always come back They always will They Always Come Back Those four young Swedes Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha, Frida Take a chance on me They Always Come Back Super troupers from Stockholm I'll always be a fan Lay all your love on me Fernando Mamma Mia SOS Chiquitita Honey Honey Waterloo Dancing Queen Voulez-Vous They Always Come Back Those four young Swedes Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha, Frida Take a chance on me They Always Come Back Super troupers from Stockholm I'll always be a fan Lay all your love on me Yes, ABBA I love you I do, I do I do, I do, I do They Always Come Back Those four young Swedes Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha, Frida Take a chance on me They Always Come Back Super troupers from Stockholm I'll always be a fan Lay all your love on me JimColyer.com
  4. 70s Girls were something to see We saw them there on our TVs Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke Loved to watch her sexy strut Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman Gave wet dreams to every man Lynda's cleavage drove me wild She kicked ass in 70s style I can't forget Susan Anton A five-foot-eleven Amazon She had blonde hair, big blue eyes That Golden Girl blew my mind Charlie's Angels on the tube Jacklyn Smith sure was cute Farrah Fawcett had that hair She was our 70s poster girl Show stoppers Jaw droppers Show stoppers Eye poppers 70S Girls were something to see We saw them there on our TVs You may recall Valerie Perrine Man, those legs were so divine Teri Garr and the ABBA girls Agnetha and Frida rocked my world So did Olivia Newton-John Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run Jim Colyer ascap
  5. I meet new guys We get along fine But I think about you Half of the time I think about how You and I used to be I've got to confess Your Memory Haunts Me I know life goes on And we can't look back Seems we ran our course We lost our knack Still I watch the door Hoping you want me I've got to confess Your Memory Haunts Me We had our year I should be grateful Year and a half I should be thankful You've got a new love You left me behind But I think about you Half of the time I think about how You and I used to be I've got to confess Your Memory Haunts Me Jim Colyer ascap
  6. I Saw Jesus Last Night He stepped out of King of Kings That movie from 1961 He wasn't missing a thing He had the shoulder length hair And the flowing white robe He was obviously Anglo-Saxon And his halo shone like gold I Saw Jesus Last Night He sat there on my bed Laid on his hands, spoke in tongues We prayed together, then he said Let's ride in my flying saucer See places you've never seen Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and Venus The Virgo cluster of galaxies There were hundreds of UFO reports As I caught a glimpse of heaven I thought I was on LSD Such a good time we were having I Saw Jesus Last Night He stepped out of King of Kings That movie from 1961 He wasn't missing a thing He had those spaced-out eyes Had the nail marks in his hands I knew he was the Son of God I knew he was the Son of Man When our trip was over Jesus tucked me in bed Visions of sugar plums Danced in my head Jim Colyer ascap
  7. I Saw Jesus Last Night He stepped out of King of Kings That movie from 1961 He wasn't missing a thing He had the shoulder length hair And the flowing white robe He was obviously Anglo-Saxon And his halo shone like gold I Saw Jesus Last Night He sat there on my bed Laid on his hands, spoke in tongues We prayed together, then he said Let's ride in my flying saucer See places you've never seen Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and Venus The Virgo cluster of galaxies There were hundreds of UFO reports As I caught a glimpse of heaven I thought I was on LSD Such a good time we were having I Saw Jesus Last Night He stepped out of King of Kings That movie from 1961 He wasn't missing a thing He had those spaced-out eyes Had the nail marks in his hands I knew he was the Son of God I knew he was the Son of Man When our trip was over Jesus tucked me in bed Visions of sugar plums Danced in my head Jim Colyer ascap
  8. Half of my songs Sound like the 60s The other half Sound like the 70s What's it matter If I'm decades behind I like writing Behind the times Writing Behind The Times Singing in the past You know those classics Are bound to last We all know Old school's here to stay That kinda music Won't fade away I don't write hits But my songs are solid They'll be around As long as I am I've got my style Ain't gonna change Disco's stamped On my brain Writing Behind The Times Singing in the past You know those classics Are bound to last We all know Old school's here to stay That kinda music Won't fade away Elvis, Beatles ABBA, Eagles Ricky, Stones Creedence, Elton Writing Behind The Times Singing in the past You know those classics Are bound to last We all know Old school's here to stay That kinda music Won't fade away Jim Colyer ascap
  9. The wisdom of Athena The beauty of Aphrodite She rules like Hera So powerful, so mighty Aryan Goddess She sustains us Aryan Goddess She protects us Her name is Taylor Swift Blonde hair and blue eyes Men worship at her feet She came from the sky Aryan Goddess She sustains us Aryan Goddess She protects us She's immortal Superior in every way Her youth is eternal She'll never age Arms like Greek marble Straight from Mount Olympus Got cherry red lips Pure and statuesque Aryan Goddess She sustains us Aryan Goddess She protects us Aryan Goddess She sustains us Aryan Goddess She protects us Jim Colyer ascap
  10. Seems like 1996 Was 6 minutes ago But it's 2016 On Music Row Seems like Shania Should be having hits Any Man Of Mine High on the charts Where'd The Last 20 Years Go Somehow they slipped away I'm half the man I was Back in the day How'd the good times disappear Tell me if you know Help me to understand Where'd The Last 20 years go Bill was having a picnic Brought his women along Monica in the White House Soon as Hillary was gone Paul O'Neill playing right Derek Jeter at short Joe Torre managed Up in New York Where'd The Last 20 Years Go Somehow they slipped away I'm half the man I was Back in the day How'd the good times disappear Tell me if you know Help me to understand Where'd The Last 20 years go I miss my parents They were alive then Our family was together Like it had always been Where'd The Last 20 Years Go Somehow they slipped away I'm half the man I was Back in the day How'd the good times disappear Tell me if you know Help me to understand Where'd The Last 20 years go Jim Colyer ascap
  11. That unexplored realm The final frontier Beyond the beyond Beyond all fear George Harrison knew The art of dying No more lying No more crying Death As An Adventure What will it be? I'm ready to go Ready to see The proverbial light Or nothing at all Excitement awaits Adventure calls Heaven or hell Buddha or Krishna Jesus himself Sweet Nirvana God or Allah Clouds of angels Reincarnation Twenty-some virgins Death As An Adventure What will it be? I'm ready to go Ready to see The proverbial light Or nothing at all Excitement awaits Adventure calls If there's nothing I'll never tell But nothing beats The hell out of hell Death As An Adventure What will it be? I'm ready to go Ready to see The proverbial light Or nothing at all Excitement awaits Adventure calls Jim Colyer ascap
  12. No matter how we live Life is hard No matter who we are We're doomed from the start A few crazy decades To laugh and to cry When all's said and done We're Born To Die My grandmother said it Talking to herself I picked up on it And say it myself There are no answers Still we ask why When all's said and done We're Born To die Life without meaning Life without purpose Life with no hope Going in circles I'm thinking of Hamlet Clad in black No one who leaves here Ever comes back A few crazy decades To laugh and to cry When all's said and done We're Born To Die Jim Colyer ascap
  13. I minored in history The study of War Every War we fought I was there I fought the British In the Revolution I fought them again In 1812 I fought the wetbacks In the Mexican War Me and James Polk War is hell The Civil War confused It made no sense Lincoln should've stopped it Our worst president Then came Spain Teddy Roosevelt I was a Rough Rider In this event I minored in history The study of War Every War we fought I was there The Indians were savage They liked taking scalps I was in the cavalry I was there to help I won the west Built the railroads I fought Sitting Bull Spanked Geronimo World War I Though called the Great War Was but a foreshadow Of what was to come World War II Changed everything I went nuclear When it was done I minored in history The study of War Every War we fought I was there Off to Korea And the War of politics Truman said we had To contain the Communist Vietnam was crazy Sixty thousand died Jane and I stopped it LBJ lied The wars of the Bushes Took me to the desert Iraq and Afghanistan Nothing but messes I lost the War on Terror Muslims in the White House Trump will save our country Throw Obama out I minored in history The study of War Every War we fought I was there Jim Colyer ascap
  14. She Used To Be Beautiful But now she's ugly She was so sexy When she loved me She used to be a ten Now she looks like crap She hasn't aged well In the middle-age trap She Used To Be Beautiful How her hair shone Her blue eyes sparkled When she was young But she went downhill Got that sagging skin Thirty pounds overweight Got that double chin Funny how women fade Just like wilted flowers Completely fall apart Once they hit forty She Used To Be Beautiful But now she's ugly She was so sexy When she loved me She used to be a stunner When our love was new Now she looks like Hillary Looks like Rosie too Jim Colyer ascap
  15. He told me of An empty tomb And how Jesus Rose from the dead He doesn't know That empty tomb Is just on paper And in his head Things Could Be Worse That's what he told me But I don't see how If you do, show me Things'll be better When Jesus lifts the curse That's what he said Things Could Be Worse When he was done He passed the plate He needed money To perpetuate The Lord's work And to buy a coat To buy a car And pay the house note Things Could Be Worse That's what he told me But I don't see how If you do, show me Things'll be better When Jesus lifts the curse That's what he said Things Could Be Worse I can't love Jesus I'm not gay I love KymBo Cos she's a babe Things Could Be Worse That's what he told me But I don't see how If you do, show me Things'll be better When Jesus lifts the curse That's what he said Things Could Be Worse Jim Colyer ascap
  16. Jim Colyer

    Genius

    I'm no Genius Average on a good day On a bad day, well We won't talk about it Everything I know Comes from reading books The thoughts of others I don't doubt it I'm no Genius I'll leave that to Lennon John Lennon and Ray Charles Groucho Marx and Lenin I'm no Genius Some call me a hack I just like women Especially if they're stacked Speaking of women They're my Achilles heel They're my only weakness Just to cop a feel Just to be kissed Just to get laid Just to be noticed In my old age I'm no Genius I'll leave that to Lennon John Lennon and Ray Charles Groucho Marx and Lenin I'm no Genius Some call me a hack I just like women Especially if they're stacked Jim Colyer ascap
  17. I'm gonna come clean I'm gonna admit it I'm gonna tell all Admit that I did it If there's any question Then here's my answer I beat off to the Solid Gold Dancers My wife was at church She went with her mother I turned on the TV I thought, "Oh, brother!" I saw them legs I saw them prancers I beat off to the Solid Gold Dancers Gayle Paula Pam Lucenda Darcel Chelsea Deborah Lezlie I'm looking forward To the next Top 10 I know right now I'll do it again If there's any question Then here's my answer I beat off to the Solid Gold Dancers Jim Colyer ascap
  18. I Started A Religion Centered around KymBo She's my Muse She's in the know She's omniscient She's omnipresent She's all-wise She's omnipotent I Started A Religion KymBo is my goddess She's my guardian I do what she says I call on her I obey her I reach out She's there Eternal KymBo Is on my side Protecting me from Cosmic rays and bad vibes I Started A Religion Centered around KymBo She's my Muse She's in the know She's my Wonder Woman She's my Amazon She's the 1% That leads me on Jim Colyer ascap
  19. http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/flash/player?f=/music/flash/playlist.xml%3Ft%3D111 I struggled for a week to pay my income tax Thought I had it made and I could relax Thought I had a refund coming in the mail They said I owe more if I don't wanna go to jail I had to postpone my vacation I had Bad Information I got along great with my boy friend Thought I wouldn't mind getting married again I ordered a cake, I picked out a dress He said, "I don't love you, I couldn't care less" Don't send those invitations You got Bad Information Every time I think I know what's going on Somebody comes up and tells me I'm wrong Somebody feels a need to set me straight Change my way of thinking, change my fate solo I had an appointment at the beauty shop Thought it was Thursday, 11 o'clock I ran 3 red lights to get there on time The girl said, "It's Friday at half past 9" It's just another complication I had Bad Information It's one more aggravation I got Bad Information Jim Colyer ascap
  20. The Stones are a bunch of drug addicts and belong in prison.
  21. Jim Colyer

    Blue Goddess

    She's so beautiful Looks like a goddess Even without makeup And her hair a mess She's so lovely Classic features But tonight She's a Blue Goddess Blue Goddess She lost her man To another woman Hard to understand Beauty's skin deep Not all are impressed Under its spell Blue Goddess Got that body An hourglass figure Looking so feminine Pretty as a picture In her bluejeans Sexy red dress But tonight She's a Blue Goddess Blue Goddess She lost her man To another woman Hard to understand Beauty's skin deep Not all are impressed Under its spell Blue Goddess She's down in the dumps Blue as can be Maybe this time She'll come with me Blue Goddess She lost her man To another woman Hard to understand Beauty's skin deep Not all are impressed Under its spell Blue Goddess Jim Colyer ascap
  22. Jim Colyer

    Lucifer

    I love to laugh At people's misery I love making fun Of the less fortunate I rule this world I'm on my throne My son's the anti-Christ Evil incarnate My name is Lucifer Some call me Satan Others call me devil The mischief maker I have other names Like Beelzebub I believe in hate I despise all love I thrive on war Wholesale murder I'll bring you pain I'll make you suffer I've got my demons They're just like me Fallen angels In a burning sea My name is Lucifer Some call me Satan Others call me devil The mischief maker I have other names Like Beelzebub I believe in hate I despise all love If you're inspired By those who fell If you're impressed Join me in hell My name is Lucifer Some call me Satan Others call me devil The mischief maker I have other names Like Beelzebub I believe in hate I despise all love Jim Colyer ascap
  23. MARRIAGE IS TOO FINAL I want a different woman Every night I don't care What's wrong or right I wanna travel From city to city Sleeping with women Young and pretty Marriage Is Too Final And I hate in-laws Mommies and daddies Soon become outlaws I'm not into weddings Or Beatles on vinyl I need my freedom Marriage Is Too Final I don't care about women When they get old I don't believe In what I was told I couldn't stay With a horseface Carly I couldn't love A loudmouth Hillary Marriage Is Too Final And I hate in-laws Mommies and daddies Soon become outlaws I'm not into weddings Or Beatles on vinyl I need my freedom Marriage Is Too Final Bring on the women In their prime Mid-twenties They're so fine Marriage Is Too Final And I hate in-laws Mommies and daddies Soon become outlaws I'm not into weddings Or Beatles on vinyl I need my freedom Marriage Is Too Final Jim Colyer ascap
  24. Ain't no publisher Gonna pitch your song Ain't no deals ... Those days are gone It's all on youtube Come with me There for the listening Music Is Free Music Is Free Music Is Free The worldwide web Changed everything Music Is Free Music Is Free Type in my name Watch me sing Ain't no label Gonna sign you now The Internet killed The cash cow Ain't no manager With a big contract Colonel Parker's dead Ain't coming back Music Is Free Music Is Free The worldwide web Changed everything Music Is Free Music Is Free Type in my name Watch me sing It's a public library No one gets paid But if you're good You might get laid Music Is Free Music Is Free The worldwide web Changed everything Music Is Free Music Is Free Type in my name Watch me sing Jim Colyer ascap
  25. I guess I'm gullible A fool about my money I keep getting taken By sweet, young honeys I still haven't learned What every man should know From the first grade on About white trash hoes I Keep Falling In Love With no good women I Keep Falling In Love With country singers I Keep Falling In Love With femme fatales I Keep Falling In Love With Broadway Jezebels I guess I could name them But you know who they are They're all on my website And none of them stars It seems I learned nothing From the Maverick brothers And how they got fleeced By Samantha Crawford I Keep Falling In Love With no good women I Keep Falling In Love With country singers I Keep Falling In Love With femme fatales I Keep Falling In Love With Broadway Jezebels I'm gonna change Starting right now No more hussies Please show me how I Keep Falling In Love With no good women I Keep Falling In Love With country singers I Keep Falling In Love With femme fatales I Keep Falling In Love With Broadway Jezebels Jim Colyer ascap
×
×
  • Create New...