Posts posted by Lyrical Assassin
safe for the feedback cuz, ill type it out properly next time i put something up, safe tho star
No prob man, a little constructive criticism can go a long way and improve the way you write your rhymes.
Most of the shit you wrote was the truth, it was real
But the way you type made...well i didnt know how to feel
i hate rappers that have sick rhymes
but can't type for shit, its like they dont even try
so here's a little tip for when you're gonna write some more verses
type a little better, and insert some more curses
That was pretty good, but you should type normal. Don't type out the words in the way you say them because I had to re-read some of the parts cuz they didn't make any sense. Overall, that was some real shit man.
Learn how to muthafuckin type bitch. You have weak ass muthafuckin rhymes, and what the fuck does bruv mean? Do you mean bruh? And if you did, that shit is stupid as fuck, i hate people who say that shit. Dig your own grave already, bury yourself, and die a slow death.
When i fight you i won't snipe you,
I'll use an HIV infected needle to strike you,
As well as anyone that vaguely resembles or looks like you,
And just to spite you, i'll force your children at gun point to fight you,
anyone understand spanish? cuz i have some rhymes in spanish & i want some constructive criticism on them.
Good shit, this should be laid down on a track.
been spittin for a month so here goes,
24:7 my barz theyre levelin,
1 false move stik a knife in ya head n then
ill draw for the ting this rift ill be settelin
16 years in the game im a veteran
call for ya mandem blud yull get clapped up
go home fam yull find yur mum wrapped up
hypin to me blud yull get slapped up
scratch wot i sed coz blud youll get shanked up
youtes out there theyre lookin for war
but why the fuck are they hypin it for
i mean they dont know what theyre standing up for
when they step to me they get shanked in the core
theyre runnin theyre mouth askin for more
you know where i live fam just knock at my door
but yu be fightin for yur life on the floor
stop hypin it blud yur voice is a bore
I couldn't really follow while reading it, had to re-read a lot of the lines. You should type a little better..
ha. show me how its done den.
Uhhh i got nothing right now lol.. kinda busy, i'll get back atcha in a few days
lol the ending made me say wtf wen i re-read it, but like i said i wrote this pretty fast.. i think i should have tooken this rhyme in a different direction after the 4th line
They got censor bars, while i spit 6 bars
these muthafuckas must thing i have the SARS
but, i've never been to asia, and nor will i
cuz im too fucking scared to fuckin fly
and if you tell me"why dont you just to take a boat?"
then i'll come back atcha and say "which corrupted politician got your vote?"
Liked it, especially the ending.
people tell me that i should stop spitin my lyrics
they tell me "you have talent, why you wasting it?"
telling the truth isnt a waste of your time
it helps you open your eyes and take a control of your mind
dont listen to the media, instead read up on the shit
that's happening in the world, before god says "this is it"
the end is near, lets kill off the queers
dump the bodies in a lake, and drink us some beers
light up a joint, and stare up at the sky
lets forget everything, just this last time
let go of all your troubles, and dont be in dispare
cuz i got some heavy kronic, and im willing to share
the clock strikes 9, we're just in time
to ask god for a clean slate,
lets hurry up before its too late
once forgivin, we'll all raise hell
we shouldnt be doing this...oh well
IM BACK IVE HAD ANOUGH OF THESE FAGS SO ITS TIME TO DUST THE MIC OFF,
CAUSE THESE KIDS TELLING FIBS AND THEY FUCKING FIGHT SOFT,
AND IM LIKE A CROSS, BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A JEW,
SEE IM EVIL BUT CLEVER AT STACKING CASH WHILE HATING U,
AND UR RAPINGS RASH, UR AN ASS AND A FAKER TOO,
AND THIS IS FIRST CLASS, WHAT MONEY MAKERS DUE,
SO TAKE UR CREW, GO JUMP OFF A CLIFFE,
SMOKE A BLUNT IF U WISH, TO HELP U GET COMFORTABLE WITH THIS FIST,
CAUSE IM SICK OF FUCKING SHIT SPITTERS SO QUIT SPITING,
AND QUIT GETTING, UR LIRICS FROM OTHER LIRICISTS,
ARE WE FUCKING CLEAR ON THIS,
WELL IF NOT THERES A SECTION IN BEATKING CALLED BATTLE IF U WANT,
THE UNSINKABLE RAP PRINCE,
BEEN KNIG OF THIS RAP SINCE MY FIRST WORDS AS A KID.
AND I DISSPURSE FIRE ON EVERY VERSE,
FUCKING WITH ME UR GAURANTEED TO GET BURNT,
IM A VERBAL FUCKING ARSANIST,
INVESTED MY HEART IN THIS GAME, SO NAME ME HEARTLESS.
this is not directed at anyone on this site. and didnt realise caps was on lol. just felt like writing this came to mind. let me know if u like
damn that was 1 of the realist shit i've heard in a while..nice job
this one's not as good... i was just bored lol
Fresh out the gate again and you know I play to win/
I only know a few souls that you can label friends/
fuck a drop Mercedes-Benz, wit mics, electronically I disable men/
then stare at 'em nonchallantly and display a grin/
Instead hiding dog I rather you speak/
Clinton CA$H c'est magnifique cuz I'm rather unique/
niggaz always jock my lines ya'll being all doubtful/
I got rhymes for days try and swallow a mouthful/
and with that I break down beats so I can teach 'em/
my impact'll shakedown trees and coliseums/
turning non-believers to believers/
and take 'em bout as far as I can lead 'em/ and livin their sets/
and fuck a platinum necklace with the polished briquettes/
real recognize real so acknowledge the best/
and acknowledge my raps/
cuz once I get that deal then follows the rest like the marvelous checks/
that was pretty good, keep it up
I turn yo streets to gold when i touch yo block
Open up your insides when i bust them shots
150 on the freeway and i will not stop
Rollin windows down screamin "Fuck the cops!"
The first gun i ever had. .44 mag
Pistol gripped fully loaded in my lap
My pants sag but no knife or nickle bag
Just a pound in the trunk, my mouth covered with a black rag
Team draped up, brand new chain hang
AK tucked 6-0-2 gangbang
Rollin 5 deep wit deep weaponry
Playin hard, make me pull the tech and see
This brown mathafucka got a shot like Jerry West
Bust Rounds, mathafucka put his trust on his vest
High powered rifles rip through teflon like butter
This an Arizona Fighter nigga, never been a lover
Not my best. I went about 70% on this.
Holla at me though
damn that shit was tight man.
i awake in an empty cell, cold and alone
wishing i could hear my family say "jesus welcome home"
dying of lonliness, shivering away
i wish i could escape, but i gotta stay
cuz all of my homies were fake, all they wanted was money
they could give a shit, hope they're not raping my honey
if only they stayed true and didnt betray me
instead they ratted me out, i can barely breath
never in my life have i ever felt so decieved
i should have left this life, and came back home
instead of living the life where i would die all alone
i can picture my mother holding a picture of me
wishing her little boy would come home safely
but the reality is that he'll never see daylight
i wish i could make everything right
but i have to pay god back for what i took from him
i wish i never pulled the trigger, and killed that guy and his kin
no amount of money is worth the lives of 5 people
i wish i was at church, paying respect to all my people
im begging god for mercy, asking for his forgiveness
for all the things ive done.. because i cannot fix this
please god im begging and crying for your help
otherwise all you'll hear is an electric chair in use
and a body bag with a tag that'll read "Jesus"
Jesus is my name...its pronounced Hey-Soos for those who dont know..
The government’s corrupt; they use the news as propaganda
Spending Katrina’s money for their devilish greed
Instead of helping out those who are in serious need
They spread fake information about the seasonal flu
Saying that if you have it, it’s most likely to kill you
So they ship out bottles filled with their chemicals
Hoping to kill off some of their own people, this is unmentionable
The government’s coming after me, because I unleashed hell
They hoped that the pills they gave me would keep under their spell
But I escaped their greedy hands, and now I’m spittin these rhymes
And hoping that it’ll open your fuckin ignorant eyes
This country runs the world, but no one really knows
You think that you’re a thug cuz you got money and ho’s?
You ain’t shit until you have whole nations in your hands
Having them meet every one of your fuckin demands
Yep - fire away and ... welcome to Beatking.
So..do you go here to post your rhymes?
Couple bars by udsk
in Rate My Rhymes
Probably cuz most of us were busy lol. It was pretty good for your first post.