Lyrical Assassin

Probably cuz most of us were busy lol. It was pretty good for your first post.

No prob man, a little constructive criticism can go a long way and improve the way you write your rhymes.

Most of the shit you wrote was the truth, it was real But the way you type made...well i didnt know how to feel i hate rappers that have sick rhymes but can't type for shit, its like they dont even try so here's a little tip for when you're gonna write some more verses type a little better, and insert some more curses

That was pretty good, but you should type normal. Don't type out the words in the way you say them because I had to re-read some of the parts cuz they didn't make any sense. Overall, that was some real shit man.

Learn how to muthafuckin type bitch. You have weak ass muthafuckin rhymes, and what the fuck does bruv mean? Do you mean bruh? And if you did, that shit is stupid as fuck, i hate people who say that shit. Dig your own grave already, bury yourself, and die a slow death.

When i fight you i won't snipe you, I'll use an HIV infected needle to strike you, As well as anyone that vaguely resembles or looks like you, And just to spite you, i'll force your children at gun point to fight you,

anyone understand spanish? cuz i have some rhymes in spanish & i want some constructive criticism on them.

Good shit, this should be laid down on a track.

Uhhh i got nothing right now lol.. kinda busy, i'll get back atcha in a few days

no.

lol the ending made me say wtf wen i re-read it, but like i said i wrote this pretty fast.. i think i should have tooken this rhyme in a different direction after the 4th line

They got censor bars, while i spit 6 bars these muthafuckas must thing i have the SARS but, i've never been to asia, and nor will i cuz im too fucking scared to fuckin fly and if you tell me"why dont you just to take a boat?" then i'll come back atcha and say "which corrupted politician got your vote?"

Liked it, especially the ending.

people tell me that i should stop spitin my lyrics they tell me "you have talent, why you wasting it?" telling the truth isnt a waste of your time it helps you open your eyes and take a control of your mind dont listen to the media, instead read up on the shit that's happening in the world, before god says "this is it" the end is near, lets kill off the queers dump the bodies in a lake, and drink us some beers light up a joint, and stare up at the sky lets forget everything, just this last time let go of all your troubles, and dont be in dispare cuz i got some heavy kronic, and im willing to share the clock strikes 9, we're just in time to ask god for a clean slate, lets hurry up before its too late once forgivin, we'll all raise hell we shouldnt be doing this...oh well

damn that was 1 of the realist shit i've heard in a while..nice job

this one's not as good... i was just bored lol

that was pretty good, keep it up

damn that shit was tight man.

i awake in an empty cell, cold and alone wishing i could hear my family say "jesus welcome home" dying of lonliness, shivering away i wish i could escape, but i gotta stay cuz all of my homies were fake, all they wanted was money they could give a shit, hope they're not raping my honey if only they stayed true and didnt betray me instead they ratted me out, i can barely breath never in my life have i ever felt so decieved i should have left this life, and came back home instead of living the life where i would die all alone i can picture my mother holding a picture of me wishing her little boy would come home safely but the reality is that he'll never see daylight i wish i could make everything right but i have to pay god back for what i took from him i wish i never pulled the trigger, and killed that guy and his kin no amount of money is worth the lives of 5 people i wish i was at church, paying respect to all my people im begging god for mercy, asking for his forgiveness for all the things ive done.. because i cannot fix this by myself please god im begging and crying for your help otherwise all you'll hear is an electric chair in use and a body bag with a tag that'll read "Jesus" Jesus is my name...its pronounced Hey-Soos for those who dont know..

The government’s corrupt; they use the news as propaganda Spending Katrina’s money for their devilish greed Instead of helping out those who are in serious need They spread fake information about the seasonal flu Saying that if you have it, it’s most likely to kill you So they ship out bottles filled with their chemicals Hoping to kill off some of their own people, this is unmentionable The government’s coming after me, because I unleashed hell They hoped that the pills they gave me would keep under their spell But I escaped their greedy hands, and now I’m spittin these rhymes And hoping that it’ll open your fuckin ignorant eyes This country runs the world, but no one really knows You think that you’re a thug cuz you got money and ho’s? You ain’t shit until you have whole nations in your hands Having them meet every one of your fuckin demands

thanks

So..do you go here to post your rhymes?