RJS
-
Posts
8 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Calendar
Posts posted by RJS
-
-
[quote name='DudeAsInCool' date='30 March 2010 - 04:21 PM' timestamp='1269987704' post='188622']
You can write anything you like - things don't necessarily have to rhyme. I think I would continue working on the piece above. The sentiment is nice, but the first verse seems too long and the bridges and choruses feel like they need something extra. Just my opinion.
You're a good writer. Practice makes perfect.
[/quote]
Thinking the same, I always go back and change the lyrics I just like to post the current lyrics then seeing what people say then I would ask for improvements and here it is :) thanks for your opinion dude. -
[i][/i][font="Comic Sans MS"][/font][size="2"][/size]
[color="#000080"][/color]
(Verse: One)
Lured them,
Got an enthusiastic crowd
Feeling that I gotta energetic cloud
Entwinding those diabolical rhymes and
Letting loose the hard times
Droping syllables lemme play with my
lines here comes the adrenaline
After came the epinephrine
Hiding my feelings under the skin
Hiding the shade that's daunting within
Still thinking it's never over
I know you think it's unfortunate
Singing ignoring never listening
Never able to see her glistening
Face again yes I feel regret
But feels I've been pushed of the set.
(Chorusx1)
It's hard to believe you're gone
I thought everything was strong
It's hard to believe we were reunited
It's Hard to believe, hard to believe
(Verse: Two)
I'm just an individual livin' alone
Held a potrait of her ina frame
Your personality, your material body
Your a kinda person I would regret
You deserve better treated
I'll dream that your shadows follow me
You were an entertainer an imitator
Shit, I gotta be compulsive
After all I left being impulsive
That, I wouldn't do 'cause I
Learnt from my mistakes
So I'll fall back and take
A leap of faith again
'Cause no way I can go back
And make the changes change.
(Chorusx1)
It's hard to believe you're gone
I thought everything was strong
It's hard to believe we were reunited
It's Hard to believe, hard to achieve
(Bridgex1)
Never get ahead of yourself,
Never overestimate yourself,
Just think before saying
Never overestimate your words
(Verse: Three)
This is hard for me girl
I'm sending a apology letter
Hoping this'll reach to you
It's speech to the heart
I know we're through but
I just wanted you to know i was cruel
And I could feel the infernal heat
Hit me 'cause I felt guilty
God, I wish you're with another man
Who's treating you right and up tight
That's all I wanted to write
Seeing the skies are bright
I guess we're seeing a clear sight
For the final time
For the final time.
(Chorusx1)
It's hard to believe you're gone
I thought everything was strong
It's hard to believe we were reunited
It's Hard to believe, hard to achieve
The one you truly loved.
(Is this site just for rhyming only? can I put lyrics on here which don't have much rhyme to it?) -
[i][size="2"]Why am I still here?
Day by day I remain alone
Night by night sleeping with ghosts unknown
And I say to myself,
Why am I still here?
Every glance Is every breath
Every breath is ever closer
To a word too deep to even show
In which my heart will never glow
And I say to myself,
Why am I still here?
Growing old through years
Struggling to hear in my own ears
Life starts to daunt in my despair
While I wander the lonely roads,
Thinking to myself this world isn't fair.
And I say to myself,
Why am I still here?
[center][/center][/size][/i] -
Thank you =)
This seems like a chill website, might as well see what it's all about :P -
Hope so.
-
[i]I searched on google but can't really find it :/ but description says it all and it'll be appreciated folks :)[/i]
-
[size="2"][color="#000000"][i][size="4"]
Twisted in a nation of pain
The pain caused by frustration
Everyday locations getting double creations
On how to maintain their everyday formation
And some-days try to start a conversation
Ended up standing with such devastation
Shit I have to erase the phrase humiliation
But I'm here still trying to exhale the pain
And inhaling the feeling of exhilaration.
If I could lead the life I want to plead
If I would to leave the quiet side of me
Thus I would but there would be a fee
To commit to my words and release
My inner joy.
And what I've done to receive
Was a man who was once deceived
By many people who wasn't respectful
And very time they were neglectful
As soon as I approached them
My deepest inner feelings were lost
In which I felt exhausted
That my body couldn't function
But I got revived by a prayer
That's what I've done to receive
A second chance to believe
I can make changes, changes, changes,
And so I thrive forward
Never backing down on my dreams
I'm seeing things that are new
It's true that you can improve
Your inner self to the rest
And show the world who you really are
And trust me you'll go far
Only if you put your mind to it
But like I said you can walk
Before you can run so be careful.
I believe we're all here for a reason
I believe we can achieve all our goals
Thus we all have adventures
But it's time to press forward
and show our inner joy.
To show our inner joy
Show our inner joy.[/size][/i][/color][/size]
Took the blame
in Rate My Rhymes
Posted · Edited by RJS
[i][font="Comic Sans MS"]No more red eyed late nights
Used to see the twilight delights
Ready to rise through daylights
Time to measure units of time
And get ready for a new year
Because seasons have pasted
And I had my ways,
Through the darkest days
I Waited patiencely
Although I was beaten down
Kicked around
It was all the same
And I took it all for the blame.
(Chorus)
I took the blame for nothing,
Nothing is gunna be the same,
Shame I took the blame for nothing,
On I go I took the blame for nothing
Took for the blame for nothing
Took the blame for nothing.
She took it all
All of what's left of me
Vanished with my dignity
Then when she goes I felt vanity
I was filled with satisfaction
Took by one simple action
Never knew the word triumph
'Cause what you saw was a
Man burying his pride and joy
Only to stare in the fresh air
I should of been redeemed
By a second chance
I should of seemed
It'll come to this point.
(Bridge)
Thought you would understand
In every way possible
Mistakes happen
But we shoulda moved on
Shoulda moved on.
I lost my creativity
My mind was imperfection
I thought we had a mutual affection
She said carelessly mindless words
It stung me like an injection
Never knew I could be down
On the ground in an instant
Constantly felt I had an infection
A disease that says bye to resurrection
I had a predilection for changes of direction
And that's why I'm here today
Livin' high while my emotions stay away
Wishing I'll leap a day to survive
Without being betrayed nor displayed
An astray full of burnt promises.
(Chorusx1)
I took the blame for nothing,
Nothing is gunna be the same,
Shame I took the blame for nothing,
On I go I took the blame for nothing
Took the blame for nothing
Took it all for nothing, nothing
(Outro)
And so I took the blame
Didn't knew she would go
But who am I to know
I'm not in her shoes
Thus I'm unaware of her
feelings, feelings, feelings.
Thus I'm unaware of her
present, present, present.[/font][size="2"][/size][color="#000080"][/color][/i]