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BLACK LIVES MATTER! ×
BLACK LIVES MATTER!

Just Looking for some opinions


ryder848

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Detection and reflection of my infection, viewer discretion is advised
Cause i'm comin and am abouta make an eruption, light the fire in her eyes
Radiant at first, it's gonna put you in a hearse
Then smooth it out, like a professional bout
When i put it in motion
Comin over the ocean
This perpetual flow
Is inflaming the door.

This is just the first half of my verse so far, I should be comin back making some edits and other things. Thanks ahead for the advice.

This is another short verse i did:

See im a lyrical, miracle
A political and critical
A clinical, pinnacle
Invincible, now cynical
I'm ridicule and minuscule
Now people peep my noise and i
Change the world with the power of my voice

This one I was writing to Free Mason by Rick Ross.

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I like both poems, but would try to find a better ending for the following line:



[color=#333333][size=2]Radiant at first, it's gonna put you in a hearse
[/size][/color]

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