plz rate my bars

[creepa]

these are my second set of bars.
plz rate them out of 10.
tell me if you think i should put them on a track.

i was up your girl doing pay as you go
we was on my sofa tits were on show
slipping and sliding
bumpin and grinding
mum walks in
then slams the door
bang her once more
now im finished wih the whore
i walk her downstairs
my mums throwing the chairs
girl says im out
so i rave and i shout
dad comes in
i give him a clout
he gives me one back
my jaw goes crack
im like man
that was wack!!!

[DudeAsInCool]

I thought is was humorous and sexist :) You might right a few more verses and add some breaks and choruses before you add any music to the lyrics

[creepa]

[quote name='DudeAsInCool' date='04 April 2010 - 10:27 PM' timestamp='1270416468' post='188668']
I thought is was humorous and sexist :) You might right a few more verses and add some breaks and choruses before you add any music to the lyrics
[/quote]
kk thanks for the advice man