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BLACK LIVES MATTER! ×
BLACK LIVES MATTER!

im new to this be honest.brutally honest lol


mezza69

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I hate english mc's that americanise there bars

talk about hoes but never had there hand up a bra

why would you spit about a place you've never even seen

except in the comfort of your home on...........on the tv

i try and keep it real from the gu3

where shootings are rarely heard of/or known to be

it proberly will be one day but its not hear now

so you won't hear it from me when i spit my bars out

im not saying its all mc's but i have my doubts

they need to see whats real and get there heads out the ground

of coarse theres addicts hidden ere on crack and brown

but you rarely see them walking around guildford town

the g.u does have its bad places

but when i walk through them all i see is mates faces

so all im sayiing is spit whats true to you

coz you might not get caught out now,but you will do soon..........

ive got some mates who spit about guns and shootings in there lyrics,im not saying it doesnt happen or that people dont experience this,just saying that if you spit whats true to you you will go further.so if this is the life you lead then spit it,just thought i would clear this up coz it ain't like that round ere.

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I hate english mc's that americanise there bars

talk about hoes but never had there hand up a bra

THINK TWICE,

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I think the rhythm is good and the central message is clear and honest, but it maybe lacks a bit of excitement.

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My suggestion would be to print out some lyrics from some of your favorite artists. Study how they structure their lyrics - model and replicate.

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My suggestion would be to print out some lyrics from some of your favorite artists. Study how they structure their lyrics - model and replicate.

cool cool,good idea me thinks cheers for the advice it will help.

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I think the rhythm is good and the central message is clear and honest, but it maybe lacks a bit of excitement.

allways like a reply good or bad it helps alot,but sadly im not an exciting person,how would you suggest to make it more exciting i would like to here im allways open for ideas.

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I hate english mc's that americanise there bars

talk about hoes but never had there hand up a bra

THINK TWICE,

thankyou for your reply its allways welcomed,could you explain yourself tho im not understanding wot your getting at so please tell me.

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allways like a reply good or bad it helps alot,but sadly im not an exciting person,how would you suggest to make it more exciting i would like to here im allways open for ideas.

I suppose what I'm saying is that even if your friends are throwing out bs... it jumps the bit along. Simply following a rhyme scheme won't turn a piece into a freestyle.

Check out the differences:

[example 1 stolen off the net]

When I run out of stacks I go and get some more

I got so many lids, I count way too far

I got more hats than the sky's got stars

I'm fresh to death, I'm hotta then ya'll

Now pass me the rock, and I'm bout to ball

Cross left cross right, now dribble down the paint

Dunked over the crowd, and made em all faint

[example 2 stolen from ernie]

Rubber Duckie joy of joys

When I squeeze you, you make noise

Rubber Duckie you're my very best friend it's true

I find a little fellow who's cute and yellow and chubby

Rub a dub dubby

I'm not trying to say that your piece sounds like ernie, but that your delivery, while proficiently rhythmical, doesn't capture the imagination. There is a certain amount of content that is expected - your sexing ability, your mad money making ability, the decay of your neighborhood compared to all others, the general state of society, the abilities and behavior of the bitches you know, the drugs you'd recommend or forewarn, and finally, your ability to be the coolest fucker at a party.

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thankyou for your reply its allways welcomed,could you explain yourself tho im not understanding wot your getting at so please tell me.

too be honest i was maybe a little rash with my statement think twice, but the first four lines of your verse pissed me off a little. i originaly thought u were american directing that coment at english emcees just to be a prick. (which u wernt) music is freedom and a way of expressing urself people shouldnt care about what style or way they choose to do it or have to be judged for there chosen style. creativity is possitivity in life. i just didnt like the line. but if im totaly honest ive writ some pretty offensive stuff that probably upsets alot of people. so i was wrong to write that and withdraw the statement think twice

i think u can write and posses the ability to clearly put ur point across . but the rhyming isnt great. dude as in cools spot on. pick out some of ur fav verses and scribble it down. practice makes perfect try and write atleast one verse a day. eventualy it will all come together.

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I'm not trying to say that your piece sounds like ernie, but that your delivery, while proficiently rhythmical, doesn't capture the imagination. There is a certain amount of content that is expected - your sexing ability, your mad money making ability, the decay of your neighborhood compared to all others, the general state of society, the abilities and behavior of the bitches you know, the drugs you'd recommend or forewarn, and finally, your ability to be the coolest fucker at a party.

shawn quality statement. i love it. lmfao

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I'm not trying to say that your piece sounds like ernie, but that your delivery, while proficiently rhythmical, doesn't capture the imagination. There is a certain amount of content that is expected - your sexing ability, your mad money making ability, the decay of your neighborhood compared to all others, the general state of society, the abilities and behavior of the bitches you know, the drugs you'd recommend or forewarn, and finally, your ability to be the coolest fucker at a party.

:lol:

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