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TempZ21

rate ma barz grime uk

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im movin i could see it from day

n iv got potential 2 level in diz game

the hype talk dat aint hard

drop a few barz dat make u look hard

nah

im out 2 make seriouse musik

listen 2 da variety on ma flow n ma melody

since i was a kid i knew musik was my speacialty

but face it we gotta look up 2 reality

2 many kidz diying cuz a hand on a gun

n mother left crying for sons

im just wondering wat da goverment does

styl we gotta be strong pik up da pen instead of a gun

da first day u be finking ima don

da nxt day ur sayin wat iv i dne

so instead of crime lets turn 2 grime

diz way we wont end up inside

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in all honesty i didnt think it was very good.

its also very frustrating to read with all the spelling errors.

on a possitive note. if you realy want to be good at writing then practice. i dont think its a natural talent. start by increasing your vocabulary. reading helps. then practice ryming . i uset to pick the biggest word i could find then see how many times i could ryme it, then put it into a sentance. if you practice hard eventualy ryming will be easy. the hard part will be putting your thoughts ,life , and feelings into a sentance while ryming at same time. just write every day and practice eventualy it will all come together

remember not to be influenced by what other artists or writers are doing. stay true to yourself.

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There were some decent parts to that actually. Reminded me of Paln B though.

One bit was terrible however:

2 many kidz diying cuz a hand on a gun

n mother left crying for sons

im just wondering wat da goverment does

styl we gotta be strong pik up da pen instead of a gun

That last line needs looking at I think.

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in all honesty i didnt think it was very good.

its also very frustrating to read with all the spelling errors.

i think the misspelling was intentional

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look u got a good attitude and some good rymes me and u good to a song together check out my shit stuff on here and if ure interested

i can do a rap down the phone to u heres my number im 23 a dad and i live in in reading if u want i can give u some tips and advice

dude as in cool was right dont try and spell it corectly on here its how it sounds thats matters 07880806210 01189263085 call me and we can chat

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I really liked the first little thing you had going.

But I will have to agree on messenger on how

it was a little to awkward to read. But I have seen worse.

Look back on past rhymes people have put in, look at smg...

You will see what I mean by worse. Keep going though.

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Look man ya gotta good style bro ya just need ta really think about what yur about ta spit and wether its gonna be hot..like tha style man keep wrightin

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