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BLACK LIVES MATTER! ×
BLACK LIVES MATTER!
sk8zy1985

freestyle thoughts

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standing out in the freezing rain i was waiting for the seasons to change bleeding from dark wounds onto wet concrete i was on the wrong street i dident think id meet the people id meet i fell through a sheet of glass this street was weak from questions asked they tied me up and bound my feet they smashed my face like it was raw meat brused from the beats my eyes opened up to nothing but breeze i was on a cliff somewhere cold were the wind took my breath with eaze then somebody screamed a torchered scream knifed in the back and cut short from a dream burned on the cross like a young prodogy i couldent see i couldent breath i wanted to shout i needed to plead the longer it took the more i began to see clearly allthough it was dark the white lights shined on for me they had come for me the scream i heard was female in the rain and gail her ship had set sail her trip was short but painfull as i felt pain pull i prayed for the same fall an athiust found faith for all they untied my hands and feet now feeling small but full of rage i began to turn the page i could feel it building up inside my mind full of ways to make them pay i quickly turned around an untamed uncontrolled pitbull unfazed i swept swiped and kicked i lept from deaths grips like a viper timing every bite slash and rip i grabbed a knife and flipped still dizzy from the heights i turned on the mich and ripped the script torn from my mother feeling betrayed i slipped off the cliff falling into darkness my enemys were so young and heartless now in the past tense this artist has harboured too much greed and envy i dident need to plead to them to let me be i dident need the drugs or books to read all i needed was forgiveness i landed they found my only weakness stranded on this broken floor how long did i take to fall had this lonlyness found me or had i lost them all did i fall did i break did i kill them both confuzed and outta breath my mind wandered into death dreamin visions of heaven

Edited by sk8zy1985

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The subject matter is a bit gloomy, but you have a very interesting style stylistically, and your descriptive prose makes the reader feel as if they are there right with you. Keep at it.

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just how i felt at the time i will never put my best stuff on here as i dont want people to copy it thank u for the praise though i know it is gloomy but its all based on real feelings

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just how i felt at the time i will never put my best stuff on here as i dont want people to copy it thank u for the praise though i know it is gloomy but its all based on real feelings

do you plan to publish it some day?

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id like to but id need to find the right people i have 12 a4 books full of raps poems and statements that im not sure wat to do with i do rap but only to hip hop and drum and base thats why they are all long sentences id like to get in contact with someone and do a demo but i wont sacrifice my work for just money i want to be like the gorilaz or slipknot u know wear a mask or have a animated character mouthin my words i think it could go somwhere i just dont know whether im good enough i need feedback on my better stuff as i said before i will not put my really good lyrics on this site because people could quite easily take them as thier own hope u understand if u like it ill make another one up off the top of my head but im sure that gloomy is not wat u want to hear

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Gloomy is fine - you're a decent writer. Why not begin collecting images and sample beats to go along with your poetry - be a forerunner in multi-media publishing. Costs nothing to do but talent and time.

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its the same poem dont delete it could u elaborate on multi media publishing im not quite sure wat that is please tell me how i would go about it

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its the same poem dont delete it could u elaborate on multi media publishing im not quite sure wat that is please tell me how i would go about it

There are some free websites that allow you to publish your own book. It would sort of be a blog of your poems - you would add pictures and music where you felt it was appropriate.

Why post the same poem, twice? No offense, we routinely delete duplicates, because they clutter the boards--but we can make an exception if there is a good reason.

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i just thought that some people dont look at rate my rymes and only look at the poetry section sorry u can delete it if u like i dident know soz sk8zy

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Holy crap!

I would LOVE to hear you actually spit this. This is genius... no BS. I can't quite tell if it's more rapping or more poetry unless I hear it, but when I read it. Wow.

And if this isn't your best... seriously... someone needs to hand you a contract TODAY!

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thank u very much i may put more on here but im not sure whether thats the right thing to do thanks though safe sk8zy

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thank u very much i may put more on here but im not sure whether thats the right thing to do thanks though safe sk8zy

Self-promotion is always good :lol:

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