I need constructive critique on my song

[saiyoucho]

As the title says, I made a song and I would like any constructive critique so I can know what I need to improve until the next time.

You can listen to my song at the link below.

http://www.tunesquare.com/default.asp?pg=play&s=239

If the above link doesn't work try this:

http://www.tunesquare.com/mp3/200708072303...%20Twilight.mp3

Please state what you like about it and what you would change about it.

Any comments that can be of any help is appreciated.

Edited August 12, 2007 by saiyoucho

[DudeAsInCool]

You have a decent voice, but I think I might like the song better as an instrumental.

[saiyoucho]

You have a decent voice, but I think I might like the song better as an instrumental.

That's good to know. I'll be working on some instrumentals in the future too.

In my own opinion I really suck at coming up with lyrics, so making instrumentals is easier for me unless I sing lyrics that's already been made by someone else.

[DudeAsInCool]

One can always improve their writing...but why not go with your strengths or find a collaborator that writes good lyrics

[saiyoucho]

One can always improve their writing...but why not go with your strengths or find a collaborator that writes good lyrics

Yea that would be a great idea. Now if I just knew where to find a good lyric write who also knows Japanese.. Hmm..

You wouldn't happen to know where I could find one by coincidence?

[DudeAsInCool]

No, but i could add 'seeking japanese writing collaborator' under your topic heading

[saiyoucho]

No, but i could add 'seeking japanese writing collaborator' under your topic heading

Ok that sounds nice. I will be back tomorrow however, it's pretty late over here at the moment.

[DudeAsInCool]

Cool...and welcome to Beatking.

I do know a person who is into music and knows Japanese - he just spent a couple semesters there. He's in Australia for the summer, but I will see about emailing him...maybe he might be interested?? That might take awhile, though, so be patient

[saiyoucho]

Cool...and welcome to Beatking.

I do know a person who is into music and knows Japanese - he just spent a couple semesters there. He's in Australia for the summer, but I will see about emailing him...maybe he might be interested?? That might take awhile, though, so be patient

That sounds pretty interesting.

[DudeAsInCool]

That sounds pretty interesting.

He's a student at Yale and is involved in a lot of music activities there

[saiyoucho]

He's a student at Yale and is involved in a lot of music activities there

Ok I don't know anything about Yale since I live in Sweden, but involved in a lot of music activities is a nice thing. =P

[DudeAsInCool]

Ok I don't know anything about Yale since I live in Sweden, but involved in a lot of music activities is a nice thing. =P

I sent you a pm - I need your email address to forward it to the guy

[saiyoucho]

I sent you a pm - I need your email address to forward it to the guy

Reply sent to PM.

Thank you. =)

[DudeAsInCool]

Reply sent to PM.

Thank you. =)

Sent. I will followup with Bob over the weekend...