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Fellow Beatking Member Bear, R.I.P.


CTC Command

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I read this last night over at FF... _tremblelips_by_Edme.gif

We knew him here at BK as bear.

He passed away last week after taking a bad fall by himself out in the woods--his sister was kind enough to leave that post over at FF letting us know, otherwise how would we ever know when something happens to someone we know only online?

I am terribly bummed out about this...I "met" Dave (aka bear) over at FreeThought, and in the course of spamming the forums there I mentioned this place--he pm'd me to get the address, he thought BeatKing sounded like a cool place, and he has become one of our own here. He was one of the more thoughtful, interesting, introspective, and affective people I have encountered in my time on the internet--only a handful of people (including some of the folks here) have made an impression like he has, like a kindred spirit that I would instantly know and like if I ever had met him out there in "real life."

How much do we really "know" anyone that we "meet" in an online forum? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that I am going to really really miss our friend bear.

waaaa.gif

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I really liked him. He was an excellent writer...and his ""Th One Hit Wonder" thread was really well thought out and delivered with a lot of care. We will miss him...but his posts and the spirit contained within...will live on at Beatking.

We should keep the One Hit Wonder thread going in his honor...

:rip1: Bear.

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Really sorry to read that. He was such a genuine fella. One of the nice guys.

I'm sure it's no compensation but at least he was out doing something he loved to do.

:rip1:

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Just got out of bed, and saw this. Not a good way to start a day. Dave was one of the good guys. He will be missed. Both by us at BK, and by his "real life" family and friends. It's been nice knowing you, my friend!!

:rip1:

We should keep the One Hit Wonder thread going in his honor...

Agreed. I pinned it.

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I read this last night over at FF...

I finally clicked on the link and read what his sister wrote about him. He sounds like an even better person than I had imagined and it seems like he did it with lots of adversity and challenges during his life.

:rip1:

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I finally clicked on the link and read what his sister wrote about him. He sounds like an even better person than I had imagined and it seems like he did it with lots of adversity and challenges during his life.

:rip1:

That is heartbreaking. :(

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Some people seem to have an innate compassion for others and an ability to tackle responsibility that life's hard knocks can't dampen. Bear seems to be one of those treasured people...I hope he's rewarded in his current journey.

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Dave's friends over at FF are in the process of putting together some kind of memorial for Dave...they are are going to set something up using paypal or liv might set it up though the FF forum donation system, for some kind of memorial tree or tree planting.

If anyone here is interesting in contributing or if there is enough consensus here to add our wealth to theirs, let me know.

Edited by CTC Command
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The tree thing sounds cool - keep me appraised, CTC. Does Bear's sister or the other forum know about this thread?

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I emailed Sis to let her know about this thread, and although she's touched, she thinks Dave would be uneasy with the idea of us raising money, or dedicating a single tree to him.

Given the family's preferences, I propose we go ahead with the arbor day plantings for our own catharsis and as an inherently good deed. We have already collected $225, so we can make a really nice impact as a community.

To follow the entire process behind this memorial effort, go here. I pm'd liv and asked her how we here might be able to donate too.

If anyone here at BeatKing wants to donate to FreeThought Forum's arbor day planting, go here, scroll down and click paypal.gif. When you get to the paypal page, at the top where it says "item" make a note that it's for the tree fund up top where you enter the amount.

I'll post a link over at fficon6rj.gif to our thread here Dude, and see if I can pass the word on to Dave's sister too.

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I really have nothing more to say about any of this myself other than this really is sad news, but not for the reasons I first thought. There is some positive that has come out of this--the solidarity of two internet forums linked by what was perceived as a tragedy in common, as well as the heartfelt sentiments in this thread and the contributions to the arbor day fund over at FF that show the true colors of BeatKing's core membership. You guys are a true community. And I apologize for aiding and abetting the spreading of this ridiculous drama, though at the the time I thought I was doing a public service. It won't happen again.

And as a courtesy I think the mods should let the forum know should anyone with "bear's" ip address take up at BeatKing again with a new user name. If he wants to post here, I move that he do so under the name he already has.

Anyone who wants to read the entire thread over at FF is welcome to read it here, but quoted below are the most pertinent posts for those who want the edited version.

For the record we've confirmed that the individual who posted here under the name
quiet bear
also posted at Songfacts as
Jr_
,
_jr_
, and
Dude
and BeatKing as
bear
.

This individual was a moderator at SongFacts (as
_jr_
) and has over 6000 posts there in which he mentions his wife frequently. He apparently drifted away from Songfacts in November, 2005, leaving a number of members scratching their heads about why this beloved member would've left suddenly and without any explanation.

Over here, Dave once mentioned having over 6000 posts at a music forum which he left because of "all the drama", but I wasn't able to find any obvious drama over there. Maybe all the drama took place in private messages.

"Dude" has only posted at Songfacts once since Dave allegedly died, and that was to say 'Boo'. The idea that a grieving sister would recreate a deleted Yahoo account and login to a forum where Dave no longer had any ties just to say 'Boo' is about as ridiculous as a story can get.

I seriously doubt the claim that we don't have Dave's real last name. In fact I believe we know his name and his wife's name (and maiden name) and their address. Although we weren't able to find an obit for Dave himself, we did find one for his wife's father. If we've got the names wrong it's a remarkable coincidence that Dave took a break from the forum for a "family emergency" at the same time this woman's father died.

In all seriousness Dave, I think you need some professional mental help.

For the record, Dave submitted the following by way of the :ff: contact form:
I am sorry I decieved everyone. I am lost. I am sorry I hurt people. My life is spinning out of control. I said I was dead because that's how I feel.

I recommended that he return as quiet bear and apologize to everyone himself.

:jawdrop:

I've been away from FF for a few weeks, I came back today and I read this whole thread. wtf. If I'd wanted a roller-coaster ride I would have stayed on vacation.

I've done a lot of things online but it has never occurred to me to rape people's minds in such a way as this. Toying with the emotions of people who are generally very nice and caring is such a low thing to do. They have SA and 4chan for people who need to lash out and be cruel online... FF just doesn't deserve this sort of abuse.

Get well soon, Dave.

:sad cheer:

My previous post here was pretty harsh. The edit window is still open, but I'm not going to change it. One, because I'm a bit of a bastard. Two, because whatever problems qb has, he had a choice not to take it out on the people here who never did anything but support him. And three, because there was so much self-congratulatory horseshit in the "Sis" posts that he now holds the trophy for the most pathetic use of a sock account in the history of the :ff:. It took a lot to take that title away from the previous holder, but he smashed all the records. Because of that attempt to turn himself into a superhero, I don't even buy the "I feel dead" story. I think it's just one more play for sympathy to avoid taking responsibility.

Own what you did, and I'll accept your apology. I don't ask for self-abasement, just honesty. For ONCE.

And no, I don't believe I'm so important that anyone should have a burning desire for my forgiveness. I'm just stating how I feel about it.

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If he is indeed troubled, we can forgive and forget. This is BEATKING - we are a community that welcomes all and holds no grudges.

I say we welcome him back and help his get over his troubles.

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