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KILLIN $CRAPA$ VER$E 2


Young_Mobster

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CHORUS:

KILLIN,

SCRA-PA-PA-PA-PAS,

(4X)

KILLIN SCRAPS,

FROM THE R-E-D-W-DOUBLE O-D,

AND ALL THE OTHER CITIES IN THE MIGHTY NORTHERN CALI,

FROM THE BAY TO THE VALLEY IN A RATS DISMAY WE GET ROWDY,

SHOTIE ON A MISSION HAVE THERE EDUCATED GUESSES MISSIN,

HIT ‘EM WHERE THEY LEAST EXPECTIN IT MAKE SURE IN ONE BLOW THEY FEELIN IT,

DON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST IN ONE NIGHT THIS BATTLE IM SEALIN IT,

STRIKE TILL THEY CANT HEAL FROM IT THEN DIVE FOR THE FINISHIN BLOW,

AIM LOW LIGHT ‘EM UP MAKE ‘EM SPARK LIKE 4TH OF JULY PUT ON A SHOW,

THERE BRIGHT RED BLOOD RAINING ON A PERFECT SUMMER NIGHT,

FOLLOW THIS PATTERN THROUGH OUT KILLA CALI SET THIS SHIT RIGHT,

FOR THE CAUSE WE FIGHT, FOR THE CAUSE YOU DIE,

FOR THE CAUSE I DIE, FOR THE CAUSE WE SET ALL OUR FEELINGS ASIDE,

AND IF YOU WANNA START A GUERRA BRING IT ON YA LEVA,

IT AINT NO MUTHAFUCKIN THING BUT TO BE,

CHORUS:

Edited by Young_Mobster
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Excellent edit!

You have the flow, and while you still hold some of the original content, it isn't overbearing.

I would say you have the potential to keep evolving, and do pretty well.

*edit*

Noticed this was verse 2, and not an edit.

My comments still stand.

How many verses?

Have you thought of a catching close for your final verse?

Edited by Excrement_Cranium
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o no this was the edited version, i dont kno y i wrote 2 but i did, but yea this is the edited version, and i plan on having 2 total verses, ill work on the other one later but im glad to hear that this one was better than my last

NP.

I know where you are coming from, and I know what is going on in each version.

However, creatively, sometimes what defines you can also restrict you.

You've got a good start, just don't be afraid to dig deeper.

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