Rookie Rhymes

[Lufc_for_life]

MY Rhymes r not slow my rhymes r not dull

Im rising quicker dan da price of petrol

furtado was promisicuios but im fukin viscious

wont b long 2 am fukin RnB bitches

I rap for fun not 4 the fame

Rappers these days there all da same

sayin their ghetto sayin their hood

Well i say nethier n guess wat? i dont wish i cud

Im jus egar im jus in da mood

im jus bein myself lyk i really shud

Rappin 2 diss bout der bro n der sis

better not choke tho thats a real miss

The mic is mine now runnin outa time now

Stop bein kind now sun stoppin 2 shine now

Bet ur luvin dis sound now!

I dont mind critiscism but can it b constructive critiscism

Im a rookie lol

[DudeAsInCool]

I'll give you a 7 for effort and humor-but Ive got the flu, so I cant go into detail :)

[Lufc_for_life]

IM definitly happy wit 7

[Young_Mobster]

i thought this wuz coo,

especially since u a rookie,

but next time jus try 2 have a real topic u kno,

like the topic u did has bin dun by hella ppl b4 so

jus try and be a little more creative ;)

but since ur still a rookie it wuz a good way 2 start out.

ur rhymez were ok i guess but try 2 up ur vocab a lil u kno?

jus try and add a few more descriptave wordz,

and use simili'z and metaphorz and all that good stuff!

but over-all, since u a rookie,

i give u a 7.5-8

good job

- .Young Mob$ter::