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Kooperman

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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY

 6:00 PM    Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

 6:30 PM    Dick Cheney leads Pledge of Allegiance from an undisclosed

location

 6:35 PM    Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

 6:45 PM    Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

 6:46 PM    Seminar #1: Iraq Stratergies -  Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

 7:30 PM    First Presidential Beer Bong

 7:35 PM    Serve Freedom Fries

 7:40 PM    EPA Address #1: Mercury is OK - It's what's  for dinner!

 8:00 PM    Vote on which country to invade next

 8:10 PM    Call EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh

 8:15 PM    John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!

 8:30 PM    Round table discussion on reproductive  rights (MEN ONLY)

 8:50 PM    Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

 9:00 PM    Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

 9:05 PM    Second Presidential Beer Bong

 9:10 PM    EPA Address #2: Trees - The Real Cause of  Forest Fires

 9:30 PM    Break for secret meetings

 10:00 PM   Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

 10:15 PM   Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

 10:30 PM   Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

 10:35 PM   Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

 10:40 PM   John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt.

 10:45 PM   Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans

 10:46 PM   Third Presidential Beer Bong

 10:50 PM   Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy

 11:10 PM   Hillary Clinton Piñata

 11:20 PM   Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous

New Cult

 11:30 PM   Call to EMT's to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

 11:35 PM   Blame Clinton

 11:40 PM   Laura serves milk and cookies

 11:50 PM   Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

 12:00 PM   Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

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