Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Welcome Guest!

Join us now to get access to all our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, and so, so much more. It's also quick and totally free, so what are you waiting for?

BLACK LIVES MATTER! ×
BLACK LIVES MATTER!

"Do You Remember" with Verse 2


Guest .::BeatFactory::.

Rate this on a scale of 1-5, and explain why you rated it that way  

4 members have voted

  1. 1. Rate this on a scale of 1-5, and explain why you rated it that way

    • 1
      0
    • 2
      0
    • 3
      1
    • 4
      2
    • 5
      1


Recommended Posts

Guest .::BeatFactory::.

I added in Verse 2, there's one more left to go, but I still have some cleaning up to do. I just wrote down verse 2 real quick right now and I wanted to put it up... TWISTED ;)

[Verse 1]

Do you remember those days when we could talk about

All our silly little problems and I would make em stop

No more hurt, no more pain, no more stress in ya life

But now those days are gone, and now it's full of strife

You went back to your old ways and your old man

Tou were crawling back to me, but it's out of my hands

You told me how you were happy, but now you sad

That you can't remember the last time you were glad

But you took me for granted, didn't appreciate me

And now your face is swollen like you got stung by a bee

It ain't my fault ... that the nigga hit ya

Just cuz he saw us in an old picture

I'd never put my hands to you face

Never even raised my voice, just asked for some space

But now you're lying in the hospital bed, fighting for you life

And I won't say "I told you so", cuz I wanted you as my wife

[Verse 2]

Do you remember those days in the past

All those times we shared, thinking that we would last

All those trips to the hotel and the theme park

Creepin out late just havin fun when it was dark

Those times when we would lay around all night and talk

Those times when we would get up for a late night walk

Everything that we had, it's now all down the drain

And your life has gotten worse, just full of pain

Everybody told me I need to find a new girl

Someone who can love me for life and give me the world

But I always told em all that I still loved you

No matter all the bullshit that you put me through

Am I crazy, am I dumb, or am I just plain stupid

For being here by your bedside like there was no bullshit

Then I remember how you were there for my ass

By my bedside when I died after that car crash

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you feel all that or you just writing it cause it sounds and looks good?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest .::BeatFactory::.

Most of it is true and are feelings, with a tiny exception ... obviously I'm not dead lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I gave you a 4 of 5 . just from being around guys who also rhyme, you've got it and you know it. It's good that you use that talent. The rhyme itself is powerful with great meaning, alot of people can relate. That's why I scored you 4. 5 would mean perfection and I don't think anyone's perfect. Good Job man! :good job:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got a great general vibe from this. Obviously not best read whilst listening to Slayer's Angel of Death. I'll rate it later when I've got the metal out of my head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went the middle road, though it is good.

Strange suggestion though... and it's your deal so shrug it off if ya like....

Verse #2... The song would be heartwrenching if verse 2 was from "her" point of view, and then pick up 3 with the aftermath.... (though, this is going off "by my bedside after I died")

that is just from a songwriting point of view...

edit: on second reading it fits perfectly... line suggestion

Everybody told me I need to find a new man

Someone who can love me for life and stick to the plan

On third reading... I found I screwed up, and this edit is getting long......

and... fugghetabowtit.

Edited by Excrement_Cranium
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Our picks

    • Wait, Burning Man is going online-only? What does that even look like?
      You could have been forgiven for missing the announcement that actual physical Burning Man has been canceled for this year, if not next. Firstly, the nonprofit Burning Man organization, known affectionately to insiders as the Borg, posted it after 5 p.m. PT Friday. That, even in the COVID-19 era, is the traditional time to push out news when you don't want much media attention. 
      But secondly, you may have missed its cancellation because the Borg is being careful not to use the C-word. The announcement was neutrally titled "The Burning Man Multiverse in 2020." Even as it offers refunds to early ticket buyers, considers layoffs and other belt-tightening measures, and can't even commit to a physical event in 2021, the Borg is making lemonade by focusing on an online-only version of Black Rock City this coming August.    Read more...
      More about Burning Man, Tech, Web Culture, and Live EventsView the full article
      • 0 replies
    • Post in What Are You Listening To?
      Post in What Are You Listening To?
    • Post in What Are You Listening To?
      Post in What Are You Listening To?
    • Post in What Are You Listening To?
      Post in What Are You Listening To?
    • Post in What Are You Listening To?
      Post in What Are You Listening To?
×
×
  • Create New...