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Jim Colyer

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Everything posted by Jim Colyer

  1. I am Hephaestus The scorned one Son of Hera The crippled one I make things With my hammer Tongs and anvil A metal worker I am Hephaestus Father of invention My arms are strong Romans call me Vulcan I make statues I make armor I make helmets I make chariots The Olympians are jealous Because of Aphrodite Goddess of love and beauty The wife Zeus gave me I am Hephaestus The spurned one With the twisted foot The ugly one I made a golden belt Just for Aphrodite She felt its magic Now she loves me Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  2. People starving Around the world I'm making records In Nashville People going naked Hardly get by I'm wearing Suits and ties Thank God I'm Rich Thank God I'm wealthy Thank God I'm well-off Thank God I'm well-heeled People freezing In wintertime My thermostat Says 79 People walking In the snow I'm driving A brand new Rolls Thank God I'm Rich Thank God I'm wealthy Thank God I'm well-off Thank God I'm well-heeled My bank account Continues to grow Fine with me Reap what you sow Thank God I'm Rich Thank God I'm wealthy Thank God I'm well-off Thank God I'm well-heeled Thank God I'm Rich Thank God I'm wealthy Thank God I'm well-off Thank God I'm well-heeled Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  3. I rose from the elements Organic molecules Nurtured by the sun And water too I'm a piece of nature A piece of chemistry Carbon-based Piece of biology On The Way To The Grave I'll revel in my prime Fade into eternity Beyond the realm of time That which we call life Is a temporary thing And it's always in flux On The Way To The Grave I'll return to the elements My bones will decay If it takes a million years They'll still rot away Like I never existed A piece of evolution Frozen energy Just an illusion On The Way To The Grave I'll revel in my prime Fade into eternity Beyond the realm of time That which we call life Is a temporary thing And it's always in flux On The Way To The Grave We revolve and rotate On this pale blue dot This speck of dust In a cosmic pot On The Way To The Grave I'll revel in my prime Fade into eternity Beyond the realm of time That which we call life Is a temporary thing And it's always in flux On The Way To The Grave Jim Colyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  4. Sometimes I love you Sometimes I hate you Sometimes youre ugly Sometimes you're beautiful I Go Back And Forth Always changing my mind Sometimes I see clearly Sometimes I go blind I Go Back And Forth Like our planet spins around Everything's a cycle I go up and down Sometimes I wanna live Sometimes I wanna die Sometimes I wanna laugh Sometimes I wanna cry Sometimes I believe in God Sometimes I don't Sometimes I'll hurt you Sometimes I won't I Go Back And Forth Always changing my mind Sometimes I see clearly Sometimes I go blind I Go Back And Forth Like our planet spins around Everything's a cycle I go up and down Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays I'm an atheist Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays I'm an agnostic Sundays I'm a believer Throw in some money Support your preacher His wife's a real hottie I Go Back And Forth Always changing my mind Sometimes I see clearly Sometimes I go blind I Go Back And Forth Like our planet spins around Everything's a cycle I go up and down Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  5. I used to have a life Those days are gone I used to have women Now I'm alone This virual sex It's emotion free I love my phone My phone loves me Living On The Web Living Online Got my own site Looks like a shrine Living On The Web Lost in cyberspace Slave to the internet What the hell is interface? I can remember when There were no computers I made my fortune As a trouble shooter I have to admit My biggest thrill Rising every morning Reading email Living On The Web Living Online Got my own site Looks like a shrine Living On The Web Lost in cyberspace Slave to the internet What the hell is interface? Myspace died Facebook lives on 5000 friends I don't know a one Living On The Web Living Online Got my own site Looks like a shrine Living On The Web Lost in cyberspace Slave to the internet What the hell is interface? Colyer Bushmeyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  6. When I'm on stage People scream and faint Men throw money Women throw panties I've had sex With thousands of women They stand in line For their 15 minutes I'm Mr. Charisma I've got more than Elvis More than The Beatles More than The Stones Michael Jackson Rolled into one More than Garth Brooks And Luke Bryan The older I get The better I get No end in sight No not yet I'll never die I'll ascend into heaven Right in the middle Of my greatest orgasm I'm Mr. Charisma I've got more than Elvis More than The Beatles More than The Stones Michael Jackson Rolled into one More than Garth Brooks And Luke Bryan I'm all sex I'm all rhythm I'm all animal Magnetism I'm Mr. Charisma I've got more than Elvis More than The Beatles More than The Stones Michael Jackson Rolled into one More than Garth Brooks And Luke Bryan Jim Colyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  7. She's got a pretty face Personality plus A religious girl She won't cuss Sings like a bird She cooks and sews There's just one thing I think you should know She's Fat She's a blob She's obese She's a slob She's Fat She's a blimp She'll make you Feel like a wimp She's more than chubby She's 400 poounds She'll grab you up Spin you around She went on a diet She lost a hundred She came down From 500 She's Fat She's a blob She's obese She's a slob She's Fat She's a blimp She'll make you Feel like a wimp Before you accept This blind date I want you to know She's overweight She could never Be a fashion model More blubber than Rosie O'Donnell She's Fat She's a blob She's obese She's a slob She's Fat She's a blimp She'll make you Feel like a wimp Jim Colyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  8. I'm turning 70 You're 22 Age ain't nothing You know it's true Love's a bridge Somebody said You're so alive I ain't dead Savannah From Alabama No, not Georgia You're still a peach Savannah You need a man How about me I'm within reach We can get married Have us a kid You'll be glad So glad you did Life's real good When you're in love Come on, Savannah Do your stuff Savannah From Alabama No, not Georgia You're still a peach Savannah You need a man How about me I'm within reach It may take time For your parents to accept me Just like you They'll learn to love me Savannah From Alabama No, not Georgia You're still a peach Savannah You need a man How about me I'm within reach Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  9. I am Mortal I will die But I'll be placed In the sky The goddess Kimbo Whom I serve She will render Me eternal I am Mortal But I'll live on Among the stars A configuration Shining brightly Summer nights Kimbo's favorite Constellation I'll live on With those Greek heroes Become part of Those legends of old I am Mortal Yet I'm forever Like the gods Everlasting Hercules and Jason Perseus and Orion Celestial realm Never ending Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  10. I'm interested in shadows They're taken for granted Shadow of the moon Shadow of our planet They'll have their moment August 21, 2017 2 minutes, 40 seconds Of totality Great American Eclipse Once in a lifetime event Hope you don't miss it It's heaven sent Great American Eclipse I know I'll be there Crofton, Kentucky If the weather's fair People will scream Dogs will bark I hope you're not Afraid of the dark Birds will fly Back to their nest Thinking it's time For them to rest Great American Eclipse Once in a lifetime event Hope you don't miss it It's heaven sent Great American Eclipse I know I'll be there Crofton, Kentucky If the weather's fair Diamond ring Baily's Beads Nature's show For you and me Great American Eclipse Once in a lifetime event Hope you don't miss it It's heaven sent Great American Eclipse I know I'll be there Crofton, Kentucky If the weather's fair In the valley of the shadow Of the shadow of the valley Of the shadow of the valley In the valley of the shadow Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  11. You Can Call Me Jimbo Though my name is James I flew into London Stood on the Thames I flew into Stockholm Hung out at Gamla Stan It's the local Old Town Hej Gamle Man! You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo I sailed to Helsinki Across the Baltic Sea I had nothing to fear Kimbo protected me I sailed to Helsinki With the Viking Line I went to my bed Someone was in mine You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo Kimbo is my Protectress Guardian from above She came from Mount Olympus To shower me with love You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo You Can Call Me Jimbo I serve the goddess Kimbo Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  12. Listening to Queen Send shivers up my spine I'd rather hear ABBA The choice ain't mine Yes, I'm a regular Here at Santa's Pub Nashville, Tennessee My second favorite club Santa's Pub Young, friendly crowd They could use some rock On their parking lot Santa's Pub Andy on the mic Jonah behind the bar Christmas every night I'd rather be at the Beaver But it's closed on Mondays I'll rock tomorrow night Always there on Tuesdays I hope Annie drops by She makes it go around She's the star of the show Bringing love to this town Santa's Pub Young, friendly crowd They could use some rock On their parking lot Santa's Pub Andy on the mic Jonah behind the bar Christmas every night Now I'm singing ABBA Mamma Mia, Dancing Queen Take A Chance, Take A Chance Take A Chance On Me Santa's Pub Young, friendly crowd They could use some rock On their parking lot Santa's Pub Andy on the mic Jonah behind the bar Christmas every night Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  13. Next time I board I'll fly to Hong Kong I gotta see China I gotta be strong If I'm a world traveler I'll sing this song They'll all be waiting When I land in Hong Kong Hong Kong Express I'll do my best With those Chinese ladies Try to impress Hong Kong Express I'll speak Cantonese I'm welcome here I love the Chinese Gonna see Big Buddha Ride the tram up the Peak Sail the Harbor on Star Ferry Victoria is chic Dine on the Floating Jumbo Shop at Stanley Market When time comes to pay I'll just say charge it Hong Kong Express I'll do my best With those Chinese ladies Try to impress Hong Kong Express I'll speak Cantonese I'm welcome here I love the Chinese If it all goes right And nothing goes wrong I'll find my own Suzie Wong Hong Kong Express I'll do my best With those Chinese ladies Try to impress Hong Kong Express I'll speak Cantonese I'm welcome here I love the Chinese Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  14. I wanna make love To you again You move like silk In a warm wind Once ain't enough Neither is twice Wanna be with you Every night Savage Beauty In a green dress Disco dancing Now twenty-seven Savage Beauty Long black hair English teacher Mamma bear You got the rhythm Pure energy I'll make you feel Beautiful and free When I'm with you I'm more than alive I'm immortal I'll never die Savage Beauty In a green dress Disco dancing Now twenty-seven Savage Beauty Long black hair English teacher Mamma bear You're a wild animal On the prowl I wanna love you Now right now Savage Beauty In a green dress Disco dancing Now twenty-seven Savage Beauty Long black hair English teacher Mamma bear Jim Colyer ASCAP
  15. Jim Colyer

    Jugs

    Jennifer Biel She's got em Boobs that make Every man lust Jayne Mansfield She had em Made us drool Forty inch bust Jugs Got them titties Jugs Sure are pretty Jugs Got that rack Jugs She's sure stacked Rachel Welch Had that bosom Big hooters Did I love em! Jennifer Love Got that cleavage Man oh man! We all need em Jugs Got them titties Jugs Sure are pretty Jugs Got that rack Jugs She's sure stacked Size Double D Size Triple E Over the shoulder Boulder holder Jugs Got them titties Jugs Sure are pretty Jugs Got that rack Jugs She's sure stacked Colyer Bushmeyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  16. Jim Colyer

    Stems

    Taylor Swift She's got 'em Legs that just Go on forever Julie Newmar She had 'em Gams galore Sexy limbs Stems Shapely as can be Stems Making a fool of me Stems Love her calves and thighs Stems Sure do gimme a rise Catherine Bach Was Daisy Duke Dressed them stems In short shorts Katy Perry What a knockout! Stocking tops Make me shout Stems Shapely as can be Stems Making a fool of me Stems Love her calves and thighs Stems Sure do gimme a rise ZZ Top knew all about 'em Sang that song about them Stems Stems Shapely as can be Stems Making a fool of me Stems Love her calves and thighs Stems Sure do gimme a rise Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  17. Six foot tall in her high heel shoes She's giving every man the blues Out fighting evil every night Came to Nashville to set things right Amazon Annie The new Wonder Woman Smarter than the bad guys Stronger than the men She plays bullets and bracelets She's got a magic lasso Spends half her time Roping Music Row assholes Amazon Annie The new Wonder Woman Smarter than the bad guys Stronger than the men She came from Quincy Island Drives an invisible Mustang She makes 'em tell the truth She turned Nashville around One hell of a woman Makes William Marston proud Amazon Annie The new Wonder Woman Smarter than the bad guys Stronger than the men Amazon Annie The new Wonder Woman Smarter than the bad guys Stronger than the men Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  18. He died in his apartment He died alone Rarely saw his son They talked on the phone His rent was due They opened his door They found Jim Colyer Dead on the floor The Death Of Jim Colyer Was no big deal Everybody dies Some get killed The Death Of Jim Colyer Was a minor event Nobody cared He had no friends Must've been heart failure Natural cause They cleaned up the mess Buried the corpse He died at 70 On his birthday Threescore and ten Like the Bible says The Death Of Jim Colyer Was no big deal Everybody dies Some get killed The Death Of Jim Colyer Was a minor event Nobody cared He had no friends Maybe he went Into the light Hooked up with God That night The Death Of Jim Colyer Was no big deal Everybody dies Some get killed The Death Of Jim Colyer Was a minor event Nobody cared He had no friends Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  19. The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Songwriter Is a terrible Burden to bear You strive and strive To get in front Then realize You're nowhere The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Songwriter Is a horrible Price to pay For 3 minutes of fame That dissolves into nothing While you quickly Watch it fade All your songs Slip into the past As you write alone In front of the pack The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Songwriter Is a terrible Burden to bear You're out of style You're yesterday's hit And your relevance Is history Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  20. HONG KONG, China 2016 http://jimcolyer.com/papers/entry?id=402;fa=1 I will go to Hong Kong in 2016 for 4 days and 3 nights. With Globus. Possibly in April. Hong Kong is an island off the China mainland. It was a British colony. There will be a host waiting for me. I may need to buy an e-ticket at expedia.com. Otherwise, Paublo at Globus may book my flight. I will check in with my airlines at their desk, get boarding passes, note flight numbers and gate numbers. The British controled Hong Kong 1841-1997, 156 years of colonialism except during Japanese occupation in World War II. The Opium Wars were fought 1839-1842 and 1856-1860. They involved Anglo-Chinese disputes over China's sovereignty and British trade. Britain wanted to legalize opium and sell it to the Chinese. Hong Kong became a British colony after the first Opium War and was transferred to the People's Republic of China in 1997. The territory became a "Special Administrative Region" with a degree of autonomy under the idea of "one country, two systems." The SAR Special Administrative Regions consist of Hong Kong, Kowloon and the New Territories. Hong Kong is Asia's world city! The skyline with its skyscrapers and glass towers is famous. Its tallest skyscraper is the International Commerce Center at Union Square. There are 108 floors. The HSBC Bank is British. It was founded in Hong Kong in 1865. Hong Kong is a financial center, and both Chinese and English are spoken. Both are official languages. Road signs are in English. Cars drive on the left side. Take the Airport Express from the airport into town. The host from Globus will meet me in the airport terminal. She will have on a uniform. Transfer! She will get me to my hotel and back to the airport at the end of my stay. Buy an Octopus card! It is used on buses, trains, trams and the ferry. It can be used in restaurants and supermarkets. Hong Kongers like to shop and dine. Hong Kong uses the Hong Kong dollar. MTR (Mass Transit Railway) is the underground railway. Trains run frequently, and there is no timetable. Writing is an art form in China. The written language consists of characters. There is no alphabet. Literacy in written Chinese requires a knowledge of between 3 and 4 thousand characters. All Chinese use the same characters but pronounce them differently. Cantonese is spoken in Hong Kong. "Lei-ho" is hello. Chinese put their family name first. Han Suyin, the author of "A Many-Splendored Thing" is an example. HONG KONG ISLAND & HONG KONG CITY ATTRACTIONS: Central District - The central business district of Hong Kong is located on the north shore of Hong Kong Island, across the harbor from Kowloon. Victoria Harbor - It lies between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. The harbor's strategic location on the South China Sea was instrumental in Hong Kong becoming a British colony. Victoria Peak - The Peak is a tourist attraction in Hong Kong, offering spectacular views of the city and its harbor. There are two shopping centers, the Peak Tower and the Peak Galleria. People ride the Peak Tram to the top, Trams are called "ding dongs." Star Ferry - The Star Ferry is good for crossing Victoria Harbor. It carries passengers across the harbor between Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. Soho - An entertainment district located in Central consisting of restaurants, bars, art galleries and antique stores. Stanley is Southside's destination with its colonial remnants and waterfront restaurants. Stanley Market. Repulse Bay - A bay in the southern part of the island, located in the Southern District. It got its name because the British navy "repulsed" pirates there. The curved building on the beach is called "The Lily". Sampan boat ride in Aberdeen - Aberdeen floating village is located at the Aberdeen Harbor in the Southern District. The harbor contains 600 junks, housing 6000 people. The Jumbo Floating Restaurant is a tourist attraction. It is a boat serving Cantonese seafood. The Jumbo Floating Restaurant is filled with tourists and locals who bring their overseas business clients. Big Buddha on Lantau Island - Tian Tan Buddha is a large bronze statue 112 feet tall. Visitors must climb 268 steps. 21% of Hong Kongers are Buddhists. Man Mo Temple - Man and Mo are the gods of literature and war. There are several Man Mo Temples, the best known being on Hollywood Road. Causeway Bay's Times Square - Causeway Bay is a heavily built-up area of Hong Kong, located on Hong Kong Island, and covering parts of Wan Chai and Eastern districts. The rent in the shopping areas of Causeway Bay was ranked as the world's most expensive for the second year in a row. Hysan Place - Hysan Place is a shopping mall and office building at 500 Hennessy Road, Causeway Bay. Wan Chai - Red light district in "The World Of Suzie Wong." Kowloon across the Harbor - Kowloon is an urban area in Hong Kong comprising the Kowloon Peninsula and New Kowloon. Tsim Sha Tsui East Promenade in Kowloon Avenue of Stars - The Avenue of Stars is modelled after the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It is located along the Victoria Harbor waterfront in Tsim Sha Tsui and pays tribute to the Hong Kong film industry. Panda @ Ocean Park The Admiralty in SoHo - Victoria Park The Hong Kong archipelago consists of 260 islands. Lintau is the largest and home to Big Buddha. Macau - Macau was a Portugeuse colony. It is called the "Vegas of the East" and the only place in China where gambling is legal. The population pf Hong Kong is 7,200,000. It is one of the world's most densely populated areas. Meridians are longitude lines running from the north pole to the south pole. The prime meridian runs through the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England, a London suburb. From Greenwich, east and west longitude lines run 180 degrees around the globe. They meet at the International Date Line. Hong Kong latitude & longitude: 22°15′N, 114°10′E
  21. They're good-looking women But they're Heavily Made-Up Lipstick, eyeliner All that stuff I think of Sara Evans She's 44 She's got the basics And a whole lot more Heavily Made-Up Then they come out Stand on the carpet For a photo op Heavily Made-Up Or else they stay home Aging quietly All alone I've lusted for them all Though they hide behind masks Mascara, eyeshadow They're high class I think of Faith Hill She's 48 She's got that beauty It's a natural trait Heavily Made-Up Then they come out Stand on the carpet For a photo op Heavily Made-Up Or else they stay home Aging quietly All alone Little Big Town Girls I won't say their age I like them too much To give them away They're good-looking women But they're Heavily Made-Up Maybelline, CoverGirl All that stuff I think of Shania She's 49 She's got that face She's still mighty fine Heavily Made-Up Then they come out Stand on the carpet For a photo op Heavily Made-Up Or else they stay home Aging quietly All alone Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  22. Leaves on the ground Chill in the air Arc of the sun Low in the sky Halloween's over All Saints' Day November First Death has its way November A depressing month Short days, long nights We're a bipolar bunch November When darkness rules A time of ghosts Goblins and ghouls Making our way Through this tunnel Keep on going A new year's coming But for now It's rainy and bleak Superstition In the words we speak November A depressing month Short days, long nights We're a bipolar bunch November When darkness rules A time of ghosts Goblins and ghouls JFK Was killed in November November Twenty-second If you remember Ain't been the same Since that time Our country began It's long decline November A depressing month Short days, long nights We're a bipolar bunch November When darkness rules A time of ghosts Goblins and ghouls Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  23. Jim Colyer

    100

    I turned ninety-nine Just yesterday One more year And I'll be a hundred I've got to make it I've got to hang on I'm almost there I've got to keep on I'll beat George Burns I'll beat Grandma Moses Outlast Irving Berlin Outlive Kirk Douglas A centenarian Of worthy note I'll live longer Than Bob Hope I'm gonna be The last man standing I'll bury them all My contemporaries I turned ninety-nine Just yesterday One more year And I'll be a hundred I've got my grave Waiting for me On the edge of town Veterans cemetery Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  24. I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell I don't wanna be like Lucifer The morning after he fell Never liked fire and brimstone Or pitchforks in my tail I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell I've been an atheist all my life Never believed you had a soul Duked it out with a Jehovah's Witness Now it's different since I got old I always thought that Jesus was gay Eating his supper with those boys And all those sermons in church Were nothing but a lotta noise I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell I don't wanna be like Lucifer The morning after he fell Never liked fire and brimstone Or pitchforks in my tail I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell I've feared death Ever since my birth My whole life Has been hell on earth When I dwell on eternity I get nervous, I don't wanna burn I read Milton's Paradise Lost Dante's Inferno made me squirm Thoughts of demons scare me shitless Billy Graham working up a sweat Jimmy Swaggart and his prostitutes Jim Bakker, I will never forget I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell I don't wanna be like Lucifer The morning after he fell Never liked fire and brimstone Or pitchforks in my tail I don't care about heaven But I don't wanna go to hell Jim Colyer ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
  25. He's up on the stage Singing Country Girl Shake It He's moving his hips He knows how to make it The modern-day Elvis Singing Drunk On You I'd have it all If I was Luke Wish I was Luke Bryan What a stud! He's got the women I'm just a dud What I wouldn't give To make those girls mine To have his money Wish I Was Luke Bryan He's got that smile Those pearly whites Six feet tall His hair's just right Loves huntin' and fishin' Down there in Georgia So damn humble He loves his mamma Wish I was Luke Bryan What a stud! He's got the women I'm just a dud What I wouldn't give To make those girls mine To have his money Wish I Was Luke Bryan Fourteen number ones On the country charts If I was ole Luke I'd be a star Wish I was Luke Bryan What a stud! He's got the women I'm just a dud What I wouldn't give To make those girls mine To have his money Wish I Was Luke Bryan Colyer Bushmeyer Music ascap http://www.jimcolyer.com
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