Young_Mobster

o no this was the edited version, i dont kno y i wrote 2 but i did, but yea this is the edited version, and i plan on having 2 total verses, ill work on the other one later but im glad to hear that this one was better than my last

CHORUS: KILLIN, SCRA-PA-PA-PA-PAS, (4X) KILLIN SCRAPS, FROM THE R-E-D-W-DOUBLE O-D, AND ALL THE OTHER CITIES IN THE MIGHTY NORTHERN CALI, FROM THE BAY TO THE VALLEY IN A RATS DISMAY WE GET ROWDY, SHOTIE ON A MISSION HAVE THERE EDUCATED GUESSES MISSIN, HIT ‘EM WHERE THEY LEAST EXPECTIN IT MAKE SURE IN ONE BLOW THEY FEELIN IT, DON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST IN ONE NIGHT THIS BATTLE IM SEALIN IT, STRIKE TILL THEY CANT HEAL FROM IT THEN DIVE FOR THE FINISHIN BLOW, AIM LOW LIGHT ‘EM UP MAKE ‘EM SPARK LIKE 4TH OF JULY PUT ON A SHOW, THERE BRIGHT RED BLOOD RAINING ON A PERFECT SUMMER NIGHT, FOLLOW THIS PATTERN THROUGH OUT KILLA CALI SET THIS SHIT RIGHT, FOR THE CAUSE WE FIGHT, FOR THE CAUSE YOU DIE, FOR THE CAUSE I DIE, FOR THE CAUSE WE SET ALL OUR FEELINGS ASIDE, AND IF YOU WANNA START A GUERRA BRING IT ON YA LEVA, IT AINT NO MUTHAFUCKIN THING BUT TO BE, CHORUS:

i thought this wuz coo, especially since u a rookie, but next time jus try 2 have a real topic u kno, like the topic u did has bin dun by hella ppl b4 so jus try and be a little more creative ;) but since ur still a rookie it wuz a good way 2 start out. ur rhymez were ok i guess but try 2 up ur vocab a lil u kno? jus try and add a few more descriptave wordz, and use simili'z and metaphorz and all that good stuff! but over-all, since u a rookie, i give u a 7.5-8 good job - .Young Mob$ter::

its the 1st 1, and yea a few of the rhymez were stretched but thatz y i said it needz sum editing, but thNx 4 all the feed, i appreciate it! - .Young Mob$ter::

KILLIN, SCRA-PA-PA-PA-PAS (4X) KILLIN, SCRAPAS ON THEY KNEES, BEGGIN FOR MERCY, I DO NOT SEE HOW THESE PUSSY’S CLAIM TO BE FOR REAL, X-I-V TAGGED ON ALL THE STREETS, LET THESE SCRAP-PUTOS SEE, HOW WE ROLL IN NORTHERN CALI, CRUISE DOWN DUMBARTEN WHERE THE SCRAPS ROAM AT NIGHT, TWO GUN SHOTS IN THE DARK AND ANOTHER SCRAP FALLS VICTIM TO THE FIGHT, VIVA LA CAUSA ENE’S, PUT IN YOUR WORK! IMA KEEP RIDIN ON THESE SCRAPAS TILL IM SIC FEET IN THE DIRT, A SMIRK ON MY FACE AS THE RAT STRUGGLES TO BREATHE, PUT IN MY WORK AND AT NIGHT I CAN SLEEP WITH EASE, THEY FREEZE AT THE SCENE OF A FLAMED UP G, YOUNG MOB$TA SPORTIN RED RAGS FROM HIS LEFT SHOULDA TO HIS LEFT POCKET DOWN TO HIS KNEES, QUICKLY, JUMP OUT FROM THE SHADOWS, STICK THE GAT DOWN HIS THROAT PULL THE TRIGGER AND WATCH ‘EM SWALLOW IT! 5-0 ON THE WAY CANT IDENTIFY THE BUTCHERED RATA, HIDE ALL EVIDENCE PREPARE FOR ANOTHER NIGHT OF, KILLIN, SCRA-PA-PA-PA-PAS, (4X) KILLIN,