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DudeAsInCool

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Here's a pet astro profile...

21 March - 20 April

ARIES

"Pets born under the sign of Aries are bold and adventurous." DOGS: As the first sign of the zodiac it is only natural that Aries pets want to be the leader of the pack. Take your dog into the countryside and he'll soon be picking up a scent or act like a trailblazer. Gun dogs, whippets, lurchers and hunting dogs thrive under the sign of Aires. Most Aries dogs cannot bear to be tied down and must frantically explore every nook and cranny in their environment. They want make their mark upon the world. He'll also be completely intolerant of other dogs, get into inevitable scraps, and will try to dominate every pet and person in the household.

CATS: Aries cats are loners and sometimes you'll hardly see them for days as they would have been be eating at every house in your street except yours. Like their canine counterparts they are intolerant of other pets who they see as intruders. Keep the gold fish and budgie under lock and key or there'll be trouble. At night you'll hear your Aires cat hissing at any cats that have stayed into their territory. He's probably already covered in battle scars and may have a piece or two missing from his ear. Aries cats are certainly not dull. You'll love their exuberance and character.

21 April - 21 May

TAURUS

"Taurean pets have a placid nature, except when pushed to the extreme."

DOGS: The Taurean dog is loyal, faithful and easy to train. They make the perfect guide dogs and are great with children. They are big softies and everyone adores their kind nature. They are strong when young but get fat with age. It is rare to find an older Taurean dog that's not overweight. Their first love is food but a close second is music. If you want to keep your Taurean dog happy, play him some Beethoven- he'll sit and listen for hours and may even howl along. They don't move much, or very quickly, except on those rare occasions they are taunted or threatened.

CATS: Many Taurean cats have big beautiful eyes- a gift from their ruling planet Venus. When young they could easily win at cat shows- particularly if your Taurean cat is a blue eyed Siamese. But forget it when they get older- by then they'll look more like an overstuffed cushion covered with hair. And for heavens sake never, never feed a special treat such as fresh fish to a Taurean cat. If you do they'll refuse to eat anything else and you'll be forever out of pocket. The Venus ruled Taurean feline takes a sensuous delight in luxury and will be forever on your lap wanting continual pampering.

22 May - 21 June

GEMINI

"Gemini pets are intelligent, entertaining, and quick to learn tricks."

DOGS: Your Gemini dog can never settle. They get bored so quickly that they require constant attention. They thrive in new environments and will love it if you ask a friend to have them for a few days. If you can overcome their impatience you'll soon be able to teach them tricks from playing dead to somersaulting through flaming hoops. They love to show off. With fleet footed mercury as their ruling planet Gemini greyhounds are some of the fastest runners of them all. But keep an eye on your Gemini dog for they are unfaithful and may run away forever!

CATS: It's not often that cats obey a human command but Gemini cats are the exception. Being the most communicative sign of the zodiac they seem to understand what we're saying. They may meow back as if to answer us. They are also highly strung and hyper active. The Gemini cat is sleek, long limed and has good eyesight. They are exceptionally bright and will soon learn to open the cat flap for themselves. The ancient astrologers made Gemini the ruler of sparrows so don't be surprised if your moggie drops the occasional dead offering at your feet.

22 June - 23 July

CANCER

"Your over sensitive Cancerian pet thinks it's one of the children."

DOGS: Don't bark commands at your Cancerian dog or he's liable to burst into tears. Cancerian dogs are the most sensitive of all the zodiac signs and are likely to be very moody. They need to know that you need them and consequently require constant patting and reassurance. You'll be saying 'good boy' until your throat is sore. They make wonderful parents so you should allow them to have a litter if possible. They are also good with children and think that they are one of them. Your dog should have been born with flippers not paws for the Cancerian dog will jump into water at every opportunity.

CATS: With the moon as the ruler of Cancer it is not surprising that cats born under this sign are true to their nocturnal nature. You'll have trouble rousing them during the day but at night they're extremely active. And they love the sound of their own voice. If you hear a ginger Tom wailing in the early hours it's most probably a Cancerian. Fortunately, they're not prone to a fight and will timidly back off- the lion in Wizard of Oz is a typical Cancerian. You'll just love your Cancerian cat- she'll melt your heart with her constant need for affection.

24 July - 23 August

LEO

Extrovert and gregarious Leo pets need to be admired

DOGS: King of the dogs, standing erect, the Leo dog is confident, fearless and proud. They make excellent police dogs and will fearlessly chase criminals, enter blazing buildings or sniff out bombs. Dogs praised for their bravery or pampered by royalty are more often than not born under the sign of Leo. Your Leo dog cannot bear to be ignored. Their vanity has no limit and they love to be the centre of attention. Leo dogs are fiercely loyal and would rather die protecting you than allow you to come to any harm. They make excellent guard dogs but may be scared of cats.

CATS: Cats born under their natural feline sign of Leo are the most fortunate of creatures. They will experience good health and be extremely lucky- nine lives are just the start. They will be born into affluent homes. Most Leo cats will have long hair but the naturally long haired varieties, such as Persians, will be exceptionally beautiful- even show cats. Pampered Leos are likely to attract wealth so for them quality collars and baskets are the norm. They are extrovert and gregarious yet your Leo cat is not arrogant- she's loyal, steadfast and true.

24 August - 23 September

VIRGO

"Virgo pets are conscientious, clean, and love to work."

DOGS: There'll be no unpleasant surprises when you return home to a Virgoan dog. They are the cleanest and most hygienic of all the pet zodiac. Virgoan dogs also like routine so make sure that you walk them at the same time every day and they'll expect to be fed on the dot. Sheep dogs and working dogs in general thrive best under this sign. They will work from dawn to dusk and enjoy being productive. Traditionally Virgo rules small animals so even toy dogs such as Chihuahuas thrive under this sign. All Virgoan dogs are loyal and expect the same steadfastness from you.

CATS: You can almost hear a Virgoan cat nag you. She is fussy in the extreme and just won't tolerate second best. If you want to make her happy make sure she always has the very best brand of food served in the same place and at the same time each day. Like their canine counterparts Virgoan cats are spotlessly clean and may spend more time preening themselves that getting dirty. Cats born under this sign are hopeless at catching mice and would rather play than kill. They have a tendency to allergies and their tender skin may react badly to flea powder

24 September - 23 October

LIBRA

"A pretty pet that naturally blends in with its surroundings."

DOGS: You can't say no when those big brown eyes of your Libran dog plead for food at the table. Libran dogs are remarkably persuasive even manipulative. They enjoy the best that money can buy so throw away that old blanket and make sure his basket has the finest silk lining. Libran dogs hate being alone and will pine for you when you're away from home. They also need the company of other dogs and love peace and harmony in their environment. Their worst fault is that they can be ridiculously stubborn. If he doesn't want to go for 'walkies' you'll never budge him.

CATS: Libran cats are completely indecisive. They won't know whether they want to come in or go out, they'll be finicky about their food and will move from your lap to the radiator to the sofa trying to find the most comfortable spot. For the Libran cat nothing is ever good enough or can live up to their unrealistic expectations. She is also ruled by the planet Venus so don't be alarmed if she's sometimes appears listless for she's probably in love. Destiny dictates that pretty Libran cats will always blend in with their surroundings. Your tabby Libran cat may even match your carpet!

24 October - 22 November

SCORPIO

"Scorpio pets are loyal and expect absolute loyalty in return."

DOGS: Scorpio dogs are either your best friend or worst enemy. They can love or hate with a passionate intensity. If you wrong a Scorpio dog they will never forget but will also not forget when you treat them well. The sign of Scorpio governs secrets and perhaps because of this, dogs born under this sign make the best trackers. They'll sniff out even the most subtle scent trail. This is the ideal sign to be born under for bloodhounds, cocker spaniels and any dog with an acute sense of smell. Also, the sexual prowess of the Scorpio dog makes them ideal breeding dogs.

CATS: The ideal Scorpio cat is jet black with deep emerald eyes for this is the zodiac sign that governs the occult. Even if you're not a witch yourself, you will nonetheless have a special telepathic bond with your mysterious Scorpio. She'll know what your thinking, will sense danger and come for dinner just moments before you call her. If there's a death in the family your cat will be the first to know. The Scorpio cat is the sacred cat revered by the Egyptians. She is strange and arcane but will bring you luck and protection. She is magic.

23 November - 21 December

SAGITTARIUS

"Brave active and bright the Sagitarian pet will always amuse us."

DOGS: Pity the poor bitch who has a litter of Sagittarian puppies for as youngsters they are a whirlwind of hyper active energy. As they grow they become more controlled, muscular and sturdy. Large dogs such as German shepherds, Labradors and the Old English Sheepdogs fare well as Sagittarians as do long limed dogs such as Borzoi of Afghans. A fire sign with a planetary ruler of Jupiter makes these dogs exceptionally brave and lucky. They are very trustworthy and reliable and particularly suitable working for the blind. They have lots of character and know amusing tricks.

CATS: All Sagitarian cats are subject to serendipity which often causes them to be in the wrong place at the right time. Often at meal times they just don't turn up or if there's a cat stuck up a tree it's likely to be a Sagitarian. They like affection but hate it if you smother them. They'll just turn and move away. Your Sagitarian cat cherishes her freedom. She is very popular and sometimes aloof as if she refuses to mix with the common sort of cat from the wrong neighbourhood. Her hair or whiskers may be long like the main of a horse and she is mostly active and energetic.

22 December - 20 January

CAPRICORN

"Capricorn pets look old before their time."

DOGS: They say that Capricorn dogs look old from the moment they are born but improve with age. The sign of Capricorn favours breeds that can withstand cold climates such as St Bernards or huskies and the practical earthly nature of this sign makes them unafraid of hard work. However, because they are Saturn ruled, they may take an exceedingly long time about anything they do. 'Walkies' with a Capricorn dog can be infuriating as they forever lag behind. They are stubborn and may ignore your commands or calls.

CATS: Some of the most selfish cats are born under the sign of Capricorn. They'll eat your food, take your treats, accept your affections then walk away as if you don't exist.

The Capricorn cat doesn't enjoy domesticity and is better suited to the wild- many strays are born under of this sign. Often Capricorn kittens are abandoned when very young. I afraid that your Capricorn cat can also be rather dull company but every sentient being deserves to be loved and it may be your task to love her- even if she's not the life and soul of the party.

21 January - 19 February

AQUARIUS

"If your pet is totally bonkers- it's probably an Aquarian"

DOGS: "Sausages" and other smart Alec speaking parts on 'That's Life' were pioneered by Aquarian dogs for if a dog's being daft he's likely to be an Aquarian. An Aquarian dog has traits that other dogs would find strange. They'll perform in the circus, enjoy being on the TV, and may sometimes appear more human than dog. But their heart lies with their own species and they love to run with the pack albeit somewhat erratically. A happy Aquarian dog is one that is given as much freedom a possible for he just loves to be let off the leash.

CATS: Your white Siamese Aquarian cat would probably be delighted if you dyed her pink, for just like their canine counterparts the Aquarian cat is an eccentric. She may prefer chocolate to fish, her best friends are birds and she'll sleep in the dog's basket. She may even enjoy having a bath She's like no cat you've ever known. The Aquarian cat is also very independent- you're only there to supply the food- so don't expect a great deal of affection from her. Aquarians of all species are drawn to working in television, so if you're looking for a star for your show or advertisement then the Aquarian cat is purrfect.

20 February - 20 March

PISCES

"Piscean pets will know if you're happy or upset".

DOGS: Mongrel dogs fair best under the sign of Pisces for this is the sign that is said to contain qualities from all the other eleven signs. It's confusing being a Piscean dog. No sooner an idea springs to mind than another better idea replaces it. You may notice your Piscean dog pacing between the fire, his basket and bowl. The Piscean is also a salty dog and his favourite day out would be a walk by the sea shore. He may even enjoy eating fish! Traditionally Piceans have very weak ankles and paws so keep an eye on these areas should he start to limp.

CATS: These are the Elizabeth Taylor's of the feline world. A diamond studded collar is an absolute must. Sometimes she may strut around with her nose in the air and her tail straight as a stick and you may wonder how you offended her. Then moments later she's craving for your affections. The Piscean cat is a peculiar mixture of conflicting emotions. If Piscean cats could talk an oft used phrase would surely be "I don't know what I want but I want it now!" However they also are extremely intuitive and will know straight away if your happy or upset.

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